prettybird
New Here
Thank you for allowing me to join the group. I am sorry if I sound like I am dumping on everyone, but I can’t take this anymore!
My husband is a veteran who was diagnosed with PTSD, but he also has issues related to his abusive childhood. It was a weird mix of being treated like he could do no wrong because he was the only boy to being hit by his dad when he felt he deserved it with a huge amount of guilt tripping by his mom.
He was in the military for about 15 years,and did a short deployment to KAF in afghanistan. When he came back, he was a very different person. He rages every day, yelling at me, yelling at our kids. They are adults now, and uni. students living at home. He’s always angry, smashes things and feels like everyone is out to get him. He’s so loud the neighbours can hear, and don’t want anything to do with us now. Everything that goes wrong is somehow my fault, no matter what. He takes everything out on me, and then “forgets” he did it.
A while back, I was able to convince him to get some therapy, but that needed due to covid. He won;t go back,and this is , quite literally, making me sick. I have an autoimmune disease that can be fatal,and stress is one of the worst things for it. It breaks my heart to think I mean so little to him. It got to a point where I got sick to my stomach out int he ar and he was yelling at me because , five minutes later, I would’t go into a store for him- and he was going to “starve to death” ( his words)
He thinks that because I am a calm person, none of this really bothers me, and when I try and tell him, he won’t listen. He shifts the conversation back to be about him and how hard everything is for him!. Then he starts swearing and cursing and it's all how terrible everyone else is-how they are supid, fat, lazy and in his way. It's gotten to a point where our autistic son is afraid of him because he’s so loud. Our other two kids are in therapy, one diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and the other with major depression. I have to keep everyone going, and there’s nothing left over anymore.My emotional energy is gone.
I don’t know what to do to help my husband heal, and maybe I can;t. I’m tired of being yelled at, tired of being blamed for everything and tired of getting no support from him at all. I know he’s ill, but so am I. I don’t treat him like this! He comes home screams at us al, then goes to bed for 12 hours.
My husband is a veteran who was diagnosed with PTSD, but he also has issues related to his abusive childhood. It was a weird mix of being treated like he could do no wrong because he was the only boy to being hit by his dad when he felt he deserved it with a huge amount of guilt tripping by his mom.
He was in the military for about 15 years,and did a short deployment to KAF in afghanistan. When he came back, he was a very different person. He rages every day, yelling at me, yelling at our kids. They are adults now, and uni. students living at home. He’s always angry, smashes things and feels like everyone is out to get him. He’s so loud the neighbours can hear, and don’t want anything to do with us now. Everything that goes wrong is somehow my fault, no matter what. He takes everything out on me, and then “forgets” he did it.
A while back, I was able to convince him to get some therapy, but that needed due to covid. He won;t go back,and this is , quite literally, making me sick. I have an autoimmune disease that can be fatal,and stress is one of the worst things for it. It breaks my heart to think I mean so little to him. It got to a point where I got sick to my stomach out int he ar and he was yelling at me because , five minutes later, I would’t go into a store for him- and he was going to “starve to death” ( his words)
He thinks that because I am a calm person, none of this really bothers me, and when I try and tell him, he won’t listen. He shifts the conversation back to be about him and how hard everything is for him!. Then he starts swearing and cursing and it's all how terrible everyone else is-how they are supid, fat, lazy and in his way. It's gotten to a point where our autistic son is afraid of him because he’s so loud. Our other two kids are in therapy, one diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and the other with major depression. I have to keep everyone going, and there’s nothing left over anymore.My emotional energy is gone.
I don’t know what to do to help my husband heal, and maybe I can;t. I’m tired of being yelled at, tired of being blamed for everything and tired of getting no support from him at all. I know he’s ill, but so am I. I don’t treat him like this! He comes home screams at us al, then goes to bed for 12 hours.
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