At What Point Does Sexual Banter Cross The Line?

[Pelanol]

Yeah if I'm honest, I don't think she ever really liked me much since she suddenly had to "share" her good friend with me, and I always noticed her subtle ways of taking jabs at me or undermining our relationship even though on the surface she acted like she was our "biggest fan". I tried my best for my girlfriend, but I always had a bad feeling about her, and now it's clearly all come back to bite me in the ass. I'm so mad at myself for ever letting my guard down with her and hurting my girlfriend in the process. And now she is going around to everyone we know and making me out to be a total creep and my girlfriend a total idiot for dating me.

 

[Iduw]

This person doesn't sound like much of a quality person to have in your life!

As for sexual banter? It's like any other conversation, including when I'm joking around. Am I comfortable with the words that are about to come out of my mouth?

If not? Don't say it.

 

[Madida]

Yeah, that's not a friend.......and your girlfriend may not see it at all. I mean sometimes people accept that kind of bad behavior because they've known the person forever. I think it might be a good idea to have a heart to heart with your GF. Let her know that this "friend" is not being much of a friend. Let her know that you're not out to tell her who to be friends with, rather it's concerning when another person tries to destroy a relationship with nasty gossip.

 

[Epi]

I honestly think that sexual banter between friendly sexes, can only go one of two places -- sex itself -- or destruction of that relationship.

 

[Dufo]

There had been times before this when the friend had started in on me, and I simply didn't engage, but then she ran off to my girlfriend complaining that I have no sense of humor. So this time when I did engage, she ran off to my gf saying I'm a creep. I feel like I can't win.

This is what I would go to your GF with.

 

[Adun]

I honestly think that sexual banter between friendly sexes, can only go one of two places -- sex itself -- or destruction...

I'd have to disagree, here. In some circles it's just polite. There's neither intent nor open doors. Very much like old-school flirting for politeness sake. And in others it's just the repartee that's important, sometimes it's sexual, sometimes it political or any other topic under the sun. It's the wit that's the thing. And in others a little bit of attitude up front? Saves you a whole helluva lot of trouble later on. Shrug.

It's that line, though, that the OP first mentioned. Individuals & groups draw the line at different places. Crossing it? Shit just got serious!

It's kind of like greeting people by calling them an ugly SOB = warm fuzzies in some circles and a dire insult in others. And even if it's the norm for the circle? Person having a bad day can get their feelings stepped on. Or you can be somewhere -church, maybe, or your kids school- where oh hell no! That shit just does not fly.

But when someone goes around moving the line? Like the chick who can dish it out, but not take it? And goes crying to mommy either way? :wtf:

 

[Pelanol]

I just don't understand why she's lightening fast to get offended by some arbitrary boundary decided on solely by her after she goes stomping across every single one herself, and I can't help but think she's just attempting to entrap people in some form of controversy. Either way, none of it has been at all worth it! I let my gf know I want nothing to do with her, and my gf is pretty much at the same point, especially since she's now running her mouth about it to all our mutual friends. I'm mostly just upset I hurt my girlfriend, but she realizes that she had a part to play as well by maintaining and encouraging a relationship with a toxic person.

 

[Unef]

Oh sorry - that sounds awkward and unfair.
We are all different though - I myself don't feel comfortable with any sexual banter except from one I'm having sex with. But I don't start it up either.
Sounds almost like entrapment!