Auditory Hallucinations Acting Up

[Kintsugi]

I see from the similar titles listed as I create this thread that the last time I had a lot of difficulty with this problem was almost exactly three years ago. Talk about your timehop.

A couple weeks ago or so, I had three or four auditory hallucinations in a day. I was woken up by one that seemed extremely real, someone talking outside my window. Just minutes later, I heard a loud clanging noise in my kitchen as I went to take my dogs out, but when I investigated, there was nothing that could have possibly made that noise. Just a couple hours later, I could have sworn I heard my dog yelp, but she didn't. I think I had one that night, too, but I can't remember what it was.

A couple of nights ago, I was talking to my co-worker, and I heard piano music. It took me several minutes, as I talked to her, to discern that it wasn't real, and she couldn't hear it (I didn't ask, because piano music seemed extremely improbable). It wasn't a tune I recognized. It became so loud that it was difficult to focus on what she was saying. I tried to just ignore it.

I've also been having what I would call some visual disturbances when I dissociate. I was "zoning out," if you will," standing outside my workplace a few days ago, and I realized the asphalt beneath my feet looked like it was moving, like it was very cool lava that hadn't quite become hard and static.

Visual hallucinations or disturbances don't freak me out too badly. I was always a fan of hallucinogens, and the first rule for tripping is not to take anything too seriously or freak out about anything, so I'm really good at not being alarmed by anything like that. My worst visual hallucination was pretty out-there, but it didn't upset me. That was years ago, though. I don't typically have visual hallucinations.

Auditory hallucinations only bother me when they become frequent like this. Last year, I hallucinated that there was a train going by while I was at work, where there are no trains. It sounded real enough that I asked my co-worker if she heard it. Luckily, she and I talked mental health a lot, and she just assured me it wasn't real.

Anyway, having five auditory hallucinations in a month, especially one while I'm engaged in conversation with someone (I find they're more likely when it's quiet--brain filling in the blanks), is a little worrisome to me.

I've noticed over the years (my first and scariest auditory hallucination was when I was 17) that I tend to have more auditory hallucinations when my dissociative symptoms are kicking my ass, but really, I haven't noticed a dramatic change in my dissociative symptoms. Dissociation/derealization have always been some of my top symptoms, and right now, I don't seem that bad off in that arena relative to how bad I can get.

Anyone have similar experiences, advice, or opinions? I do also wonder if this is connected with me not having therapy this month.

Here is my previous thread on this matter, which did not garner many responses, in case anyone wants to see: https://www.myptsd.com/threads/increased-auditory-hallucinations.35161/

 

[Zanshin]

I hear things when I'm over tired and see people that aren't there. Or at least, nobody else seems to see them... I've hit the brakes while driving to not hit horses running down a road towards me that disappeared when I blinked...

How's your self-care been? Sleep, food, vitamins, hydration? For me, bonus oddities crop up when I push myself too much.

ETA: Some people hallucinate with a medication reaction or infection like a UTI. Any medicine changes recently that may have caused this?

 

[Whyteferret]

Is there anything different going on? Positive or negative?
Are you under more stress?

 

[Kintsugi]

I am under a lot of stress this month. I've done been under a lot of stress for a hot minute. I've had a lot of lifestyle changes in the past year, and in the past few months, I've had just a ton of stuff hit the fan, therapy included. This month I'm stressed by the prospect of going to grad school full time while working full time, and figuring out how I would pay for school anyway is not helping my anxiety.

 

[Stickler]

Stress seems to cause that symptom for me, if it's going to happen.
Damn KLSD radio...

 

[Zanshin]

What can you do to make time for yourself to reduce stress? Your body/mind are telling you it's too much... A walk, a moment with a book, music, crafts, sports, what helps you?

 

[Friday]

How positive are you that they're hallucinations & not flashbacks?

I tend toward a helluva lot of single sense flashbacks, which includes auditory. Most of the time it's really easy to place them, because it takes very little effort to move 1/2 a molecule to the left, and get more of the memory... Whether it's reliving it, or remembering it...Or it's an obvious thing, like radio static.

 

[Kintsugi]

@Zanshin I've increased my daily exercise and snapped my diet back into line, eating only what I cook myself. I don't have a lot of stress outlets right now, unfortunately, outside of exercise and reading.

@FridayJones You know, I'm not really that sure. That actually occurred to me during the piano music. I was trying to concentrate on what my co-worker was saying, and all the while, I kept thinking, Piano music? Is this a piece my brother used to play? Is this a memory or just a hallucination?

Some of my auditory hallucinations are very typical. I hear a phone ring that sounds exactly like the phone we had growing up, or I hear my mother calling my name, and it rings the same way it would have in my childhood home. I can even tell based on her voice where in the house I would have been in relation to her. Very weird indeed. Though I consider those "normal" hallucinations. I'm pretty sure normal people get those?

Some of my auditory hallucinations seem like unlikely flashbacks, like the voice I heard outside my window, or the yelping dog.

I just really don't know. A lot of stuff has been coming up for me since I kicked my biological (non-abuser yet still an asshole) brother out.

 

[Ronin]

You said you're good at treating visual stimuli that isn't of importance, as just that, something that is and doesn't require much attention.

Can you do something similar, just with auditory stuff?
As in, if it's not relevant to your current situation, disregard it for a background noise?
Or something to laugh about (come on, not everybody has their special train coming by, in a place without trains.)

Eventually, would different things help dealing with them - white noise, low-tone music, darn loooud music, singing to yourself, anything the like?

 

[Kintsugi]

Well actually, Cashew, they don't bother me too much in and of themselves (I've only had two that were really scary), but I do sort of worry I'm losing my shit.

They aren't consistent enough for me to really take preventative measures, although I would imagine listening to loud music would help. Usually when I have an ongoing one (like the piano music), I'm sort of listening to it with curiosity, because I feel like maybe if I understand what they're about, I can end them or at least not worry about it escalating. I'm just worried I'll become fully delusional or psychotic someday.

 

[Ronin]

I'm just worried I'll become fully delusional or psychotic someday.

You are aware some people are able to get through psychosis & delusions by the sheer stubborness, and compensate by their intellect, for one thing?
Or that it isn't an end-road, something one ends up being and doesn't return from?

Don't give it your fear.
One bird flying in doesn't a change of a season make.
Or more like, bee of mental health flying out.

Edited to add: You're not helping your stress & getting yourself the message things are fine and being handled with overthinking scenarios that may happen faar in the future, never, and look like something completely different than you imagine, too.

While a reasonable fear, it's not a helpful one, so worry about it /when/ it comes, not /if/, and not if it's coming from something that may have a simpler explanation?