I don't wish to really discuss anything too personal, so my introduction won't be very interesting I suppose.
I'm 25, and I've lived with complex ptsd since I was 6 yrs old. If anyone lives in north qld Townsville area I would love it if you could maybe direct me to a good place.
I'm hoping and have always hoped I could find a support group or some way of just talking maybe to help. I get these moments sometimes where I want to just spill my guts and tell all but then I have that vile gross vomit feeling and I cant speak. I won't be discouraged by that though, for most people with ptsd as everyone here knows sometimes its serious.... like life and death serious... if I don't get a hold of myself sometime soon I don't know what will become of me.
I can't put my own bins out, even being in my own backyard can be a hair raising adventure. My life is just a joke.
I just need to be around people who know what its like, I want something real basically, nothing based on religion just pure strength and the willingness to keep going.
ptsd in my own descriptive title would be like being stuck in a mini personal hell with your hell glasses on and hell hearing aids... your whole world is filtered before it meets up with your brain and fXXks it all up and you're left with these twisted ideas and thoughts... even you yourself sometimes know they aren't right but your entire body physically wont let you believe otherwise..
its so much more than depression or anxiety... and until a meet a damn GP who sees that and understands it... I don't want a bar of them... I don't want to fill out another EEFFING ptsd chart and have my "numbers" tallied. only to be told what I already know and then offered medication.
they don't work for everyone, ive had almost every drug for anxiety/psychosis/depression available for me it gave me horrible symptoms which piled on top of each other some made my depression less invasion but amplified my anxiety... I couldn't win.
and now I'm rambling and if you're still reading great!
I wish treatment wasn't so expensive, I wish I didn't have this, but wishing gets you no where.
I knew around the age of 16, that I wasn't ever going to be normal. I on many occasions when I felt brave enough to tell someone I had it I was heavily judged made to feel like a looney case/a lost cause that needed help and babying... and then I was also simultaneously disqualified from being a girlfriend or friend for that matter.
I never talk about my issues, it feels selfish now divulging them which seems a little nuts doesn't it? But I can't help what the brain tells me to think, not yet anyway... I never learnt to master that.
Right now the only thing that works for my insomnia is taking any type of narcotic/opiate prescription drug I can get ahold of.
seems to also help keep away my night terrors once I do finally sleep too.... I feel sorry for my partner having to deal with this, my anxiety, my "fun killing anxiety", unwillingness to have new adventures especially if other people are involved or if I'm in public open spaces.... I like feeling like I have a hiding space just enough for me so I know no ones behind me or laughing at me or eyeing me off or anything like that...
I can't sit anywhere public unless ive had some type of "numbing" medication...or I'm drunk (however I do not drink often at all its quite rare)
The silly things that go through your mind haha...
I need escape plans for everything I do... three or more different routes the more the better.... any sort of failure or being late somewhere or screwing up... I can't stand it... learnt quite early on if I don't have friends and I don't go anywhere I wont have that pressure and obligation viola easy life... but it doesn't quite work out that perfectly... I supposed its only served to make my anxiety intrusive thoughts and weird ocd to get worse.
The lovely world where your own mind destroys you better than any physical injury
I'm 25, and I've lived with complex ptsd since I was 6 yrs old. If anyone lives in north qld Townsville area I would love it if you could maybe direct me to a good place.
I'm hoping and have always hoped I could find a support group or some way of just talking maybe to help. I get these moments sometimes where I want to just spill my guts and tell all but then I have that vile gross vomit feeling and I cant speak. I won't be discouraged by that though, for most people with ptsd as everyone here knows sometimes its serious.... like life and death serious... if I don't get a hold of myself sometime soon I don't know what will become of me.
I can't put my own bins out, even being in my own backyard can be a hair raising adventure. My life is just a joke.
I just need to be around people who know what its like, I want something real basically, nothing based on religion just pure strength and the willingness to keep going.
ptsd in my own descriptive title would be like being stuck in a mini personal hell with your hell glasses on and hell hearing aids... your whole world is filtered before it meets up with your brain and fXXks it all up and you're left with these twisted ideas and thoughts... even you yourself sometimes know they aren't right but your entire body physically wont let you believe otherwise..
its so much more than depression or anxiety... and until a meet a damn GP who sees that and understands it... I don't want a bar of them... I don't want to fill out another EEFFING ptsd chart and have my "numbers" tallied. only to be told what I already know and then offered medication.
they don't work for everyone, ive had almost every drug for anxiety/psychosis/depression available for me it gave me horrible symptoms which piled on top of each other some made my depression less invasion but amplified my anxiety... I couldn't win.
and now I'm rambling and if you're still reading great!
I wish treatment wasn't so expensive, I wish I didn't have this, but wishing gets you no where.
I knew around the age of 16, that I wasn't ever going to be normal. I on many occasions when I felt brave enough to tell someone I had it I was heavily judged made to feel like a looney case/a lost cause that needed help and babying... and then I was also simultaneously disqualified from being a girlfriend or friend for that matter.
I never talk about my issues, it feels selfish now divulging them which seems a little nuts doesn't it? But I can't help what the brain tells me to think, not yet anyway... I never learnt to master that.
Right now the only thing that works for my insomnia is taking any type of narcotic/opiate prescription drug I can get ahold of.
seems to also help keep away my night terrors once I do finally sleep too.... I feel sorry for my partner having to deal with this, my anxiety, my "fun killing anxiety", unwillingness to have new adventures especially if other people are involved or if I'm in public open spaces.... I like feeling like I have a hiding space just enough for me so I know no ones behind me or laughing at me or eyeing me off or anything like that...
I can't sit anywhere public unless ive had some type of "numbing" medication...or I'm drunk (however I do not drink often at all its quite rare)
The silly things that go through your mind haha...
I need escape plans for everything I do... three or more different routes the more the better.... any sort of failure or being late somewhere or screwing up... I can't stand it... learnt quite early on if I don't have friends and I don't go anywhere I wont have that pressure and obligation viola easy life... but it doesn't quite work out that perfectly... I supposed its only served to make my anxiety intrusive thoughts and weird ocd to get worse.
The lovely world where your own mind destroys you better than any physical injury
