I hear you, too.
I've struggled a lot with avoiding life, especially this past year - not wanting to leave the apartment, run errands, anything. I feel abnormal and like a weirdo, but sometimes I manage a little self-compassion ("there are reasons for this avoidance, and it's actually part of a normal reaction to how my life has been, so - not abnormal!") and then I feel a little better.
I don't like small talk any more either.
I pick up food almost every evening from a nearby restaurant (I handle their correspondance and stuff, so the food is free) and when I do small talk with them, I keep getting this weird feeling, like: I hear myself saying something and have no idea where the words came from, whose idea it was to say them, or was it really me the words came out of? It's weird. I think because it just seems so meaningless, to chat,
