No one can make you talk about your trauma. That's your choice. There are things out of your control- but who you disclose to and when are totally within your control and are your choice.
It sounds like your thought pattern may be something like "I'm scared of talking about all this stuff, and having to feel all these feelings and process all this trauma" and that's understandably overwhelming. It would be like saying to a young teen who has only the faintest idea of how to operate a car "You're going to make a 6,000 mile road trip". That would be be equally impossible and overwhelming. However if that child was paired with a skilled driving teacher, taught how to drive, practiced for several years on familiar roads, and then took the distance in small journeys with time to rest and refuel in between, it might be scary at times, but it wouldn't be impossible or truly overwhelming, because that child would be ready. The journey with a good therapist is very, very similar to that.
You've put your name on the list to meet with this T, so it's something you WANT to do, yes? Can you compromise with yourself to take small steps towards achieving that goal? Like, take the big stuff (disclosing, processing, etc) totally off the table and just tell yourself your only goal is to enter her office and stay for at least 10 minutes. Maybe you talk, maybe you don't, if she's a good therapist she'll be okay with you not talking, or will be able to help you make small talk.
It sounds like your former therapist didn't handle you well. They shouldn't have brought up stuff you were not prepared to handle. I had a similar experience my first time in therapy. My T had not stabilized me or gained the trust needed to work on deeper stuff but she dove right in- and I ended up in the ICU after a suicide attempt, and then quitting therapy. I never thought I'd go back to therapy but I did, 8 years later, with a skilled therapist experienced with trauma who spent about 18 months helping me stabilize, learn skills to cope, and building trust before moving into the big stuff. I'm confident I'm "through the worst of it" and have never felt as suicidal as I did after working with that first inexperienced therapist. I share that, in hopes that it might be encouraging and give you some hope. It is possible to work through it safely, but right now just focus on tiny goals like getting to her office, maybe speaking, maybe eventually talking about frustrations with work or your partner, then why you left your former therapist (that will help her know where you are at and what you need) etc.
