A Mix Of Thoughts And Feelings About Myself, My Psychologist And My Life

[lostforgottensoul]

Do you ever feel like your lying about your childhood or exaggerated ?

No, if anything i leave stuff out as my childhood, my real true childhood is like something from a movie and people have a hard time beliving it.

 

[Snowflake]

No, if anything i leave stuff out as my childhood, my real true childhood is like something fr...

Omg yes!!!!!

I even told her I feel my childhood is a movie I wish I could show her so she would understand.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I have my psych cell number but she doesn't want it to be used unless I am going to harm myself. So I...

I also cant look in mirrors, very hard time sleeping and due to my body reacting to the sexual stuff i was made to do it more cuz i "liked it" and my step dad to this day is described by me as my "first love"

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I even told her I feel my childhood is a movie I wish I could show her so she would understand.[/QUOTE...

I often wish people could live in my head for a day then they'd shut the f*ck up about im lying or just get over it

 

[Ronin]

my real true childhood is like something from a movie and people have a hard time beliving it.

People are sheeple, don't go for validation somewhere to sheeple, talk where it makes sense and people don't look for stories but how to help people and be decent. ;)

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I have my psych cell number but she doesn't want it to be used unless I am going to harm myself. So I...

Actually my body still reactes to the thought of my now dead step dad and i have to punish myself and actually to the thought of my therapist though i have no attraction to him, transference, and i am absolutly terffied of women due to my mother thus why all my Drs are men, except my male MD left the practice to go to the VA so all females took his place and i have a physical coming up thats terrifying to me. I convinced my then MD to do a pap though they dont do them there cuz i trusted him enough and wouldnt go get it done anywhere else. My therapist referred me to him, was his family Dr.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

People are sheeple, don't go for validation somewhere to sheeple, talk where it makes sense and people don...

Most people are too f*cking shallow but my therapist said most people dont want to believe the unbeliveable. Hello, Cleveland House; 10 yrs, Jaycee Dugard. Though they were kidnapped is it that hard to believe a person that came into a family changed another member? My mother is a follower and always has been.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

@Cashew doesnt @Snowflake sound just like me? Its quite scary, almost like looking in the mirror a few yrs ago. But it is a relief to find someone that identifies with your issues though!

 

[Snowflake]

What are your real or imaginary neutral/nurturing places where you feel safe? Anyone, real or imaginary, you feel think about...when your in a bad place ?

 

[Ronin]

But it is a relief to find someone that identifies with your issues though!

There's plenty of us. You're not alone, ever. For anything in the world.

 

[sun seeker]

I am alone. I have no support system other than my psych yet sooo afraid to lose her that it keeps me silent.

Yes, I know. Just reminding you that feeling that way doesn't mean you actually did anything wrong.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

There's plenty of us. You're not alone, ever. For anything in the world.

:hug: :)

What are your real or imaginary neutral/nurturing places where you feel safe? Anyone, real or imaginar...

I have my made up world i still go to in my head a lot that i made up as a kid. I also play out made up realities, like tv shows in my head that are safe, usually at night; however my intrusive brain kicks in (you know, the one that absolutly hated porn at 9 yrs old and on but became addicted to it) and turns it sexual completely out of the blue...so thats not always good cuz then i always have an urge to punish (aka cut down there). Real; only real place i feel safe is my therapists office; everywhere else im thinking up excape plans for the 10 bazillon things that COULD happen (social anxiety).