Back Surgery and needing help


Major spinal surgery is pretty scary stuff. Even if it may solve a lot of your ongoing pain issues. It makes sense to me if that's hit you hard. Know that you'll get through this, even with the difficult feels.


And staying at the hospital leaves me panicked for no good reason.
...feeling trapped and unable to get away?

But I just want to sit down and cry. And I don't even know why
I need to talk to my T about this. It seems we get our emotions mixed up in some way with PTSD and there are emotions we have difficulty reaching.

I say if it releases that emotion, do it.....


But I just want to sit down and cry.
Do you need permission? Permission granted. This is a big deal. It's not the end of the world or anything, but it's a big deal. The surgery is. Major surgery is for anyone. But it also pushes some specific buttons for you and you know that. I can't see a thing wrong with taking the time to sit down and cry. Seems totally legit to me.
And I feel like I should be more positive.
In your situation, I'd be taking that to "I'm positive I'm terrified." (Probably not useful, but true.)

I've only had one experience with surgery/ being in a hospital. I share a lot of your feelings about it. I was REALLY lucky. I explained about the PTSD and my needle phobia and the whole not trusting people (especially medical people) thing to my surgeon and he got it. Really got it, which is rare, in my experience. His practice has a nurse who handles both scheduling and "everything the patient needs". She also got it and was awesome. It turned out, when it was all said and done, that everyone was on my side. I've never had an experience like that before. It's horrible that that's so rare, but it IS possible. I wish I knew how we could all guarantee that you have a similar experience! I did come to realize that I haven't helped myself much in the past. I figured all of my issues with this stuff were my problem and were inexcusable and I should just suck it up and act like the phobia doesn't exist. You really can't do that. So, resist the temptation to tough things out and TELL people. They really have no other way to know. I hope things go as good for you as they did for me!