Back Surgery and needing help

[Muttly]

Had my doctor appointment. I like my surgeon and he explained things well. Yes, I will be getting surgery but the type and when is still unknown. He wants me to do another MRI this time with dye. And then there will be another appointment with him where we will do x-rays again (standing up) and then that will tell him what we need to do. And it's good that he is being thorough but the not knowing and the waiting and living like this is ... a struggle.

My friend was great and it did help to have here there. It was also confirming (not the right word) to have both her and the doctor note my obvious pain, the obvious issues in the MRI and weakness on my left leg.

I did get the nerve to ask for more pain pills. i'm out (I last got pain pills in October). So that's a relief for the really bad days

I seem to be on the verge of tears and I don't really get it.

 

[StillPen]

I seem to be on the verge of tears and I don't really get it.

My 2 cents...either getting validation from your doc when you were in fear that he would say no, or just the emotional let down happening because you're finally going to get the help/surgery you need to alleviate the pain. So glad for you either way and glad that your friend was there to help. I know you had some misgivings about that.

 

[Freddyt]

he is being thorough but the not knowing and the waiting and living like this is ... a struggle.

I always look at this the same way I do fear when flying. The pilot is always going to get there first. Or in this case, be very sure of what you are doing and why.

It would be comforting to me that the surgeon is being so thorough in his prep work. Yes, there is unknown there and that's scary. Always scary but like when i had the surgery to enucleate my right eye, the possibility of getting rid of all the pain that went with it was plenty to get me through the fear.

Glad you have someone to go with you. Sounds to me like this should have a happy ending.

 

[Muttly]

Yes, I think you are right @StillPen. Ended up watching a movie with my boyfriend last night which helped

the possibility of getting rid of all the pain that went with it was plenty to get me through the fear.

Exactly this. Sorry you had to have your eye ennucleated.

//

Spinning out a bit. Got the MRI scheduled for next Monday. Am excited it's that soon. Called to schedule the next appointment with my surgeon and they said the next available was the 29th. And I'm probably just being whiny and needy but that's so far away. Especially since after that I will have to wait for insurance to pre-approve the surgery. He had said they'd be able to get me in pretty quickly after the MRI. I know it's stupid and whiny. I just don't want to live like this for another month or more.

 

[Muttly]

Note to self look at how quickly the disappointment/frustration/etc turned into self-hate. That's what we need to work on.

I feel like he said to call his PA/nurse. I almost asked him to clarify that but I didn't. And now I'm all mad at myself because I didn't. And because I think it *might* be ok to call and ask to leave a message and clarify that and see about getting in sooner. But that involves me advocating for myself.

And back to the original theme of this post. I could probably use some help now. Like i really, really want to change my bed sheets. I did clean my guinea pigs cage. Today is also laundry day and I also need to run to the store and by the time I'm done with that I'm going to be so sore that I'm again not changing my sheets. And I'm managing essential chores but the house keeps getting dirtier and things are piling up. And I am not walking my dog regularly and when I do it's super short because it's so painful and my leg gets weak and shaky after a bit.

And now all this feels like pointless whining but I will post anyway.

 

[Freddyt]

And I am not walking my dog regularly and when I do it's super short

Is there a dog park or an off leash area you can take your dog to?

I feel like he said to call his PA/nurse. I almost asked him to clarify that but I didn't.

I am an Android phone user and in the recorder there is an option for auto transcription. Because it takes nearly nothing for me to forget or to get to overwhelmed I use it a lot for things like doctors appointments. I also use Keep notes for possible questions and making notes for answers. A lot of the important questions (who, what, when, where, whats next, phone numbers) are pretty generic so I have a template I fill out and then name specifically for the event.

 

[Dynamic]

wait ignore this post

 

[Muttly]

Thanks @Freddyt I appreciate the advice. My dog is no good at dog parks. He gets overstimulated and can be a bit aggressive. And off leash areas I have to walk to because he won't leave my side. But it does remind me I can set up a doggy play date for him

Are you ok @Defaultxlove

 

[Dynamic]

Thanks @Freddyt I appreciate the advice. My dog is no good at dog parks. He gets overstimulated and can be a bit aggressive. And off leash areas I have to walk to because he won't leave my side. But it does remind me I can set up a doggy play date for him

Are you ok @Defaultxlove

yes sorry @Muttly and thanks

I quoted an older part of this thread and responded to it. it wouldn't have made any sense at all

 

[Friday]

Note to self look at how quickly the disappointment/frustration/etc turned into self-hate. That's what we need to work on.

Love it.

And now all this feels like pointless whining but I will post anyway.

The opposite of pointless whining.

You’re looking at unmet needs & wants.

By deciding it’s pointless whining?

- That stops you from finding a solution after seeing a problem.
- And just thunks you smack dab in the middle of being helpless to do anything about it.
- Which you fight against (helplessness) by deciding to do it all yourself.

Try reversing it for a moment.

Let’s say a dog at your clinic had an infected laceration. If you
- see the problem (laceration + infection)
- Solutions present themselves (clean/treat/medicate/observe)
- Problem gets solved

ALSO? Seeing the problem for what it is… allows for making allowances & taking precautions for the poor dog being in pain : difficulty moving/nipping/growling/cowering. And allow you to both help the dog, and keep the people helping him safe. So problems are solved before they even begin. Just by rationally assessing the situation.

But?

- If the dog’s people never brought them in to be seen? Because they decided it was just useless whining to do anything about some stupid cut? But they do care about their dog, so they decide to treat it themselves? Do they even have access, much less the skills needed, to irrigate/suture/medicate/observe? Nope.

- Or how about they just don’t give a damn about the dog, thinking the dog is the one whining over nothing

= Same end result. Instead of seeing a problem, and finding a solution, they blame themselves -or the dog- for not healing. So the poor dog -at worst- dies, and at best is suffering needlessly. Just because dogs get cuts that don’t need stitches, don’t get infected, and heal easily on their own? Doesn’t mean an infected cut “should” heal on its own. So seeking any kind of medical care is useless whining. Instead of seeing an infected cut as a valid problem to find a solution for.

So… sure… you can decide that the house being a little messy, and the dogs not getting enough exercise, and all the rest is something you “should” be able to do, so not being able to do so is just useless whining. What’s a little cut, after all? No need to make a fuss. Who needs help with a stupid cut, or a messy house? Lazy, worthless, useless whiners.

Or? You can decide what you’re noticing (the end result of limitations caused by pain) are valid problems, and are totally worth finding solutions for.

Seriously. Try listing out the problems without assigning emotional value to them.

((Emotional value = It’s not a problem, but a character flaw.))

Instead? Triage the situation.

You’re noticing problems that you can find solutions for, or you can suffer needlessly.

 

[Muttly]

Ok Friday, thanks for that. (And oof).

Ok, first- called the Surgeon's office and left a message with his assistant. See if I can get in sooner. If not, well, I'll try calling regularly to see if there's any cancellations. (They don't have a cancel list). It seems incredibly needy and wrong to part of my brain, but I will take it as a opportunity to practice advocating for myself. And if I think about my work, when people do the same kind of thing for their pets, I don't mind as long as they aren't rude about it.

Next, my dog. Sigh. The dog walker I hired when this first happened seems to have disappeared. So I guess my next step is to try to find someone who can deal with idiotic, reactive dogs. The money will be an issue but I guess that's what savings accounts are for. I should start this process before my surgery. I can also arrange some play dates for him. And my friend S wouldn't mind walking him on occasion.

Bed sheets.. I'll just plan to do on my next day off (Sunday) and know I won't be able to do much else that day and will need a pain pill.

I will think more about this later.

 

[Freddyt]

You’re noticing problems that you can find solutions for, or you can suffer needlessly.

#mommod

Well that was a kick in the butt.

Think about flipping the script to @Muttly . Cheer yourself on for getting stuff done. There's a Goal for the Day - Do One Thing thread in Social. Make them acomplishments instead of burdens.