Bad "breakup"

[eowynofrohan]

Hello,
Returning again to this site! I started college and got my first-ever boyfriend when I returned from winter break. Unfortunately, it only lasted about three days as we both had very different ideas of the relationship. He wanted to be very serious very quickly while I wanted to take things a lot more slowly, as we had really only talking for about a month at that point and I still thought we needed to get to know each other. So, I talked to him in-person and told him how I felt and that I wanted to remain friends. I didn't have a lot of negative feelings around it as I thought we had a good time and that remaining friends would give me a chance to get to know him and think about what I wanted in the relationship. Again, it was only three days. At the time, he said he was okay with my decision.
However, that has changed within the past week. He has messaged me and my friends telling me how "worthless" he felt after the decision. He denies that he isn't trying to guilt trip/gaslight me into having the relationship again, in the same breath that he accuses me of making him feel "worthless" and giving him a panic attack. I sent him polite but curt messages back in order to say that because of this behavior I needed space and that he has really hurt me and overblown the whole situation. Luckily, I (think) he understood the message.
I've had a flare-up in PTSD symptoms because of this. I had double nightmares in a row, something that hasn't happened since I started taking Prazosin and since I had a bad flare-up after resurfacing memories over the summer. What's worse is that I told the guy in question that I had PTSD due to sexual abuse, and this being my first-ever relationship that I may have some problems to deal with, even though I didn't want it to get in the way of my happiness. If he continues to message me and attempt to "guilt trip" me I'm blocking him/changing my number. I don't really know what advice I'm seeking, maybe just some sympathy.

 

[EveHarrington]

I’d consider it a bullet dodged.

This guy is unhealthy. I’d cut contact.

He’s showing you his true colors.

 

[Freida]

He denies that he isn't trying to guilt trip/gaslight me into having the relationship again, in the same breath that he accuses me of making him feel "worthless" and giving him a panic attack.

PTSD or no PTSD -- any guy who says that to you is one you run from fast! You don't need that kind of baggage.

And good job keeping your boundaries strong!!!!!

 

[blackemerald1]

Just let the flare up & nightmares run their course. You know the reason they have happened. Hopefully they will settle quickly.
Well done for taking your time with the now ex! By doing this you found out what type of character or lack of character he really was!
So yeah I agree with @EveHarrington & @Freida you made some good decisions.
You are looking after yourself here & that is critical to your self-esteem etc.
You will find a load of respectful guy's out there who will listen & treat you kindly. Don't take his behaviour to heart - he is not worthy of a second glance.

 

[Gs172003]

Three days and he's acting that way??? Run baby run!

 

[Teleri]

I went through a similar experience with a man a few months ago. He was very nice and "understanding" until I let him know I didn't think we were compatible. He suddenly went on this crazy pity rant. Blaming everyone for treating him terrible and that no one will give him a chance. He was definitely playing on my guilt and it took awhile for me to understand this. I am so happy you saw the manipulation right away. You just saved yourself so much heartache:happy: It's good to be exposed to this kind of stuff, so that you know what is clearly a red flag.