Bad Night

[Kailani]

Can you watch a movie? Call a friend? sleep? do some art?

 

[Leah Morgan]

Can you watch a movie? Call a friend? sleep? do some art?

I am currently curled in a ball in the garden crying avoiding all others in the house

 

[Deleted member 29920]

Have the crisis team came yet?

 

[Leah Morgan]

I went to the Drs yesterday to dress my wounds and get antibiotics for my wrist. I missed crisis team as the Drs over ran. I called them they said they would rearrange. They didn't call. I called and told them I was struggling to keep it together they said they would make sure some one came. No one came I drank a lot and took to my wrist again I hit the tendon this time so I'm getting closer. I rang them again they said they would come out tomorrow. They did come out today and advises me to quilt. Saw my four year old who broke my heart by say mummy I know you don't love me any more. I had another go at my wrist and exposed more tendon. No point calling the crisis team they don't come. I'm taking my meds and curling into a ball. Wishing I could have long lasting peace

 

[hodge]

Take care, Leah. I hope you can stick to your meds and not drink and not cut. Your four year old needs you. Please try to remember that. And do keep trying to get whatever help you can, okay?

 

[Deleted member 29920]

Totally agree with everything Hodge says, please keep safe and keep typing on here. We are all here for you and want you to be okay. Big hugs :hug: :hug: :hug:

 

[Leah Morgan]

Opened up my wrist again down to the tendon, crisis team came out. Really struggling to be a mommy. I get so agitated around my kids. My daughter kept climbing on me it was all I could do not to lauch her across the room as she would stop even though I had said to several times. I just want this to end. I really can't cope

 

[joeylittle]

I really can't cope

@Leah Morgan, I'm so sorry to hear how hard you are struggling. I know how tough it can get.

You need to try and commit, really hard, to a small handful of self-harm alternatives. I know the last thing you think you can do right now is try hard, but you're worth it, you really are.

Take all the cutting implements out of the house. I know its sometimes a real pain, but you must.

Some things that work:

• My go-to: when I couldn't manage the impulses, the thing that really worked was taking a cold shower. A cold shower is a really horrible experience, it's also very distracting. My thought would be 'alright. I will go stand in a cold shower for 10 minutes, and then I can re-consider hurting myself.' By the end of the shower I'd be calmer. Also, wanting to avoid the shower became a deterrent in and of itself. I was eventually able to downgrade it to putting my head in a cold shower.
• Pen on Paper: if you have any kind of notebook, just multiple layers of paper will do - take a ball point pen and 'carve' into the paper. Put all your cutting impulse into the pen and onto the paper. Do it as long as you need to.
• Marker on Arms: if it's the damage you want to see, draw on yourself. Get a marker, draw on your body. For people who crave the intensity of the harm, this usually doesn't work. But for people who need to do something to themselves, this can be effective.
• Holding Ice: grabbing a handful of ice and holding it as long as you can, or until the impulse fades is slightly dangerous, but far less dangerous than cutting.

Thinking of you.