Bdsm Relationship Vs Therapeutic Relationship

[Deleted member 35429]

I can only reply from experiences supporting someone with DID an extreme PTSD resulting from extre...

Thank you for your response. This all rings true for me.

 

[anonymous]

For me, play was the only time I felt 'in' my body. There's also the reliving the trauma but at the time, it was a way for me to escape dissociation. I've been away from it for ten years but when things get stressed beyond my limits, I default to wanting to meet up.

 

[talon]

Thank you for your response. This all rings true for me.

good glad to have been of help

 

[talon]

When I first got into BDSM, finding men to sexually enslave me felt like a biological urgency that couldn'...

I supported a Lady with Dissociative identity disorder an extreme form of PTSD as a result of extreme trauma following extreme abuse as a child. This lady revealed what she called her dark side her liking for BDSM . I believed and still believe this was learned behaviour as a result of abuse as a child. When she was diagnosed as having DID her inner people (alters ) from a teething baby, 2 yrs olds young teens older teens they hating the host calling her a sex toy / Fxcktoy they revealing her many abusive relationships. As a result client became distressed when the stories of her abuse as a child and as an adult became known . He alters harmed her and were abusive i educating to stop this . Sadly despite my protection client continued to seek abusive relationships indulging in dangerous life threatening activities

 

[whiteraven]

I can only reply from experiences supporting someone with DID an extreme PTSD resulting from extre...

While I agree this is likely true for some - if not many - with DID, I just want to mention that it's not true for all. I have DID and was in two D/s relationships, one where the bdsm was pretty intense, but not "extreme." My Dom actually hated to "hurt" me, and enjoyed more the structure and control of the relationship. Still, he was pretty easy with me and ran almost everything by me before he implemented it. LOL

I really enjoyed the intense physical aspects of bdsm, he not so much. I loved flogging, but it was hard for him to hit me. And I have no history of physical abuse. We did both enjoy the tying up and the also loved playing with ropes (like shibari), and I also have no history of extreme sexual abuse or torture. Sometimes, I think, we are just wired to like a little kink. :p

 

[Tinyflame]

I think this is a very relevant thread below for examining choices, and moving away from re-enactments & towards healthy cognition:

Decreasing Trauma Re-enactments, To Decrease Re-traumatization

 

[Mit]

I believe I know what you mean. I recreate my childhood traumas and have other the years evolved the memories into extensive fantasies. Although I don't engage in BDSM with others my fantasies are BDSM in nature, except that in my fantasy I regress to being a child.

My acting out alone does provide me with feelings of 'attention' that I have experienced with a therapist. I know this is not the same as you describe but I do find some similarity in my emotional reactions when acting out and during therapy. Perhaps its to do with vulnerability, being vulnerable or giving up control. When I act out I am totally vulnerable and controlled by my abusers. When I open up to a therapist I am also vulnerable and therefore to some extent giving up control. Not sure if any of that makes sense!!