angel2write
Diamond Member
My poor husband, Bear, came down with a bad tooth this weekend. Had to be on anti-biotics and pain meds while at my mom's.
He still packed us up and brought us home this afternoon, then decided he wanted to drive out and buy a Christmas tree from the tree farm.
We picked out a nice, fat tree & drug it home. He cut it off & put it in the stand. And it fell over.
There was cussing, crawling around, stand adjustment... he got it fixed so it didn't fall over. But it leaned so far over it looked like it was about to pounce on anyone who walked past. Our son looked at it and announced, "3-D Christmas tree- it looks like it's about to hit you in the face!" To which I replied, "It is." :confused:
Bear crawled under the tree again and counter balanced it with some sort of heavy box. He later informed me that it's actually an ammo box with LIVE AMMO in it!!! :eek: So, strapped to the biggest fire hazard present in most homes at Christmas time, we now have a box of live ammo. :cautious: Yeah... this is a good idea. I suggested a bowling ball instead and got glared at.
But... the box counter-balanced the tree. Bear crawled under and adjusted the stand again. The tree stood briefly upright, then the tree stand fell over. When the tree is straight, it's too heavy on one side or something. The trunk is very crooked, and the tree is much larger on one side than the other. It started too look like our choices were A) a straight tree or B) an upright tree. Bear asked me at one point if I didn't want him to try hanging the thing from the ceiling this year. You know. As a novelty. One of the local restaurants apparently does this every year. The only response I could think up was to apologize profusely for choosing the crookedest tree on the lot.
After that, I think Bear stopped being annoyed and sort of accepted the challenge of mounting the darned thing. He went off and came back with gloves, bigger tools and a gleam in his eye. I beat a hasty retreat into the kitchen to make dinner. If the tree had had any sense, it would have surrendered immediately.
He and my son hammered on that thing until dinner time. When I went in to check on it, it was upright, counter-balanced, and still as crooked as a Southern politician. I offered to take the offending evergreen out in the yard, dig a hole for the trunk, plant it, decorate it with birdseed ornaments, and buy him another tree (this time with a straight trunk.) His only answer was an exasperated look, so I guess the tree is staying.
I stuck two books under the stand to give it more of an illusion of uprightness, and Bear wired it to the wall in two places. It probably won't keep it from falling, but it might reduce the number of ornaments smashed when the inevitable occurs.
Poor Bear.
I hope his tooth lets him get some sleep tonight!
He still packed us up and brought us home this afternoon, then decided he wanted to drive out and buy a Christmas tree from the tree farm.
We picked out a nice, fat tree & drug it home. He cut it off & put it in the stand. And it fell over.
There was cussing, crawling around, stand adjustment... he got it fixed so it didn't fall over. But it leaned so far over it looked like it was about to pounce on anyone who walked past. Our son looked at it and announced, "3-D Christmas tree- it looks like it's about to hit you in the face!" To which I replied, "It is." :confused:
Bear crawled under the tree again and counter balanced it with some sort of heavy box. He later informed me that it's actually an ammo box with LIVE AMMO in it!!! :eek: So, strapped to the biggest fire hazard present in most homes at Christmas time, we now have a box of live ammo. :cautious: Yeah... this is a good idea. I suggested a bowling ball instead and got glared at.
But... the box counter-balanced the tree. Bear crawled under and adjusted the stand again. The tree stood briefly upright, then the tree stand fell over. When the tree is straight, it's too heavy on one side or something. The trunk is very crooked, and the tree is much larger on one side than the other. It started too look like our choices were A) a straight tree or B) an upright tree. Bear asked me at one point if I didn't want him to try hanging the thing from the ceiling this year. You know. As a novelty. One of the local restaurants apparently does this every year. The only response I could think up was to apologize profusely for choosing the crookedest tree on the lot.
After that, I think Bear stopped being annoyed and sort of accepted the challenge of mounting the darned thing. He went off and came back with gloves, bigger tools and a gleam in his eye. I beat a hasty retreat into the kitchen to make dinner. If the tree had had any sense, it would have surrendered immediately.
He and my son hammered on that thing until dinner time. When I went in to check on it, it was upright, counter-balanced, and still as crooked as a Southern politician. I offered to take the offending evergreen out in the yard, dig a hole for the trunk, plant it, decorate it with birdseed ornaments, and buy him another tree (this time with a straight trunk.) His only answer was an exasperated look, so I guess the tree is staying.
I stuck two books under the stand to give it more of an illusion of uprightness, and Bear wired it to the wall in two places. It probably won't keep it from falling, but it might reduce the number of ornaments smashed when the inevitable occurs.
Poor Bear.
I hope his tooth lets him get some sleep tonight!
