Because Of Childhood

[Horselover18]

When I was a kid, my parents never really liked to show much affection toward any of us kids. When ever I went to go snuggle with my mom, she would push me away, or sometimes my step dad would yell at me to get off of her. I was never allowed to hug my parents unless my step dad would force one upon me. Now that I am older and have a loving, and supportive boyfriend who is very affectionate and wants to be close to me at all times, I find that I am, at times, very reserved.. i dont like being held for to long as I get.. I want to say trapped or uncomfortable, but that makes it sound like I dont love and care for him. I find that I'm just not used to this amount of affection and sometimes just need my space. But as I said earlier, he loves to be close and snuggled up at all times and I feel bad for telling him to please get off of me. I have told him everything about my past and he is super supportive. This post was hard to write because I dont know how to describe how I am feeling..

 

[Fadeaway]

I grew up devoid of physical affection as well. What you are feeling is completely normal. It is foreign to us and so we become hypersensitive to it and easily over stimulated. It doesn't sound like you don't love him. It is pretty clear that you love and appreciate him.