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Other Being Hard On Myself

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I have had several reactions that thought I was being too hard on myself. I felt like Alice who fell down a rabbit hole. Sometimes I was very large and did not fit in my skin. Sometimes I was very very small and other people were big. Even God was small. I joined this forum and started identifying with so many symptoms you all shared. I read some of the articles. I found YouTube videos like the Crappy Childhood Fairy and Dr. Ramani. If I identified with a subject I listened. In between my cerebral activity I was in major depression. I was having tortuous times of ruminating. I had no one to share these experiences with. I literally was triggered with an acquaintance and yelled at her. I was getting X-rays at the hospital and ran into her. It was hospital requirements to wear a mask. Which I did. She was a self appointed no mask police and put her finger in my face and angrily said,”you are living in fear and the Bible says do not fear. I lost it and was so triggered it took weeks of dealing with the guilt, anger and shame. I lost some acquaintances and never saw her or them again. Yes, there are weird religious people. I use religious in a non complementary way. I decided I needed to put in place mindfulness, journaling my story and go solo except for the forum. No Ts in my area. I cut out all refined sugar. Lost almost 30 lb and started resistance training. I have delayed sleep disphagia, chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia. I started to listen to your reactions and suggestions and life stories. I started forgiving in a deeper way and forgiving myself for some of ..quite a few bad choices that were self destructive and hurt people I care about, quit labeling myself with CPTSD identity and through doing that started writing and art and discovering who I really am. There is more to me than my disorder. I still don’t feel but am working on that. I know what healthy looks like. I never will be totally healed but I am so to speak clearing the deck of what I can control and being aware there are some things that need vigilance so I don’t find myself steeped in guilt and going backward where I have to dig in and work all over again to get some sense of controls over CPTSD. The rumination over the past has subsided. I am slowly finding my identity and know I am loved by God and though he let other people destroy that identity and I had to wear a mask. It is coming off. I am determined to do all I can to finish well but never perfectly. So I am determined and utilizing what I can . I have avoidance problems and am making myself be more social in spite of my fears. Would you believe I have spoken to many groups and had a radio talk show? No way today. I am unsure how much of this is being too hard on myself. I just want out of wonderland.
 
I am determined to do all I can to finish well but never perfectly.

As Voltaire said, "Il meglio è l'inimico del bene." - The best is the enemy of the good. This can even be deduced mathematically through the Pareto principle (according to Wikipedia), the idea that 20% of our time is spent completing 80% of a task, while 80% of our time is usually spent on the last 20% of the task. This can produce diminishing returns if one focuses all their efforts on completing the task to perfection - and actually ends up harming overall efficiency.
 
As Voltaire said, "Il meglio è l'inimico del bene." - The best is the enemy of the good. This can even be deduced mathematically through the Pareto principle (according to Wikipedia), the idea that 20% of our time is spent completing 80% of a task, while 80% of our time is usually spent on the last 20% of the task. This can produce diminishing returns if one focuses all their efforts on completing the task to perfection - and actually ends up harming overall efficiency.
Could you rephrase this and how it applies…thank you. Think it is a business concept…
 
Could you rephrase this and how it applies…thank you.

The act of striving for perfection can and usually will produce imperfect results.

"Don't let the perfect become the enemy of the good" is an aphorism typically attributed to Voltaire that describes this phenomenon.

I was simply pointing out that your decision to focus on doing things "well, without perfection" is a logical one and a good step forward.
 
The act of striving for perfection can and usually will produce imperfect results.

"Don't let the perfect become the enemy of the good" is an aphorism typically attributed to Voltaire that describes this phenomenon.

I was simply pointing out that your decision to focus on doing things "well, without perfection" is a logical one and a good step forward.
Thank you. I have not read Voltaire..👌
 
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