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Being on the Supporter Side of PPA/PPD

OceanSpray

MyPTSD Pro
I’m not fully certain that this question is relevant to this forum given that the person in question to my knowledge does not have PTSD. I do, and it takes a lot of spoons every day, so maybe that counts.

I have a nephew who is married to a wonderful girl and they are expecting their first baby. I love my niece in law (that sounds weird lol) but I’m very worried about her mental health. Prior to pregnancy she’s already been dealing with pretty severe depression and anxiety, that’s of course heightened during this pregnancy. She is on some medication right now which is helping.

But medication doesn’t always work all the time and the closer we get to her having the baby the more worried I am about either/both PPA/PPD. What makes me even more worried is she doesn’t have much of a support system. My nephew is in the military and they live right off base, she refuses to learn how to drive, and she isn’t ever up to doing anything to be able to meet people. So she stays at home with her dog and rabbit and worries. I can’t diagnose her but I do suspect there is some level of OCD in that she can’t sleep until she’s done checks of the house and the refusal to drive and such.

I know part of my issue is my own bias, I’m struggling a bit being on the sidelines watching yet another person have a baby when I haven’t been able to for many years. My therapist knows and is working with me on it.

But frankly I’m scared, I know how powerful depression and anxiety can be especially when you wrap up the world’s most intense hormone storm into it.

How do I support her (we live a few hours apart which makes things harder but not impossible) while also remaining just a support and not stepping in due to my own shit and I guess what do I watch for as okay/normal new parent things with some mental health issues versus she’s really struggling?
 
How do I support her (we live a few hours apart which makes things harder but not impossible) while also remaining just a support
One of my favorite baby shower gifts (20 years ago) were gift cards for food delivery. Today, UberEats & others = Infinite Variety …so is even better.

Similarly? The last time I couldn’t drive I used to have to tip the pizza guy $20 to go grocery shopping for me, but not being able to drive, today? Uber/Lyft/etc., as well as a whole heckuva lotta grocery delivery companies (Instacart, Amazon prime fresh, Uber again).

^^^ THAT ^^^ gifting someone with better ability to be independent??? Would be my absolute BEST recommendation.

My nephew is in the military and they live right off base,
She’s got support up to her eyeballs, then, IF she wants/need it. MWR, Wives Club (if they haven’t updated it to spouses or partners club by now!), Daycare, Healthcare, the O-Club or Enlisted Club, Exchange/Commisary, Chaplain, Pool, Gym, Classes, Trips… are all available for dependents.

If you’re concerned she’s too shy &/or dealing with depression to avail herself of those resources? Call the base chaplain’s office and let them know a depressed/shy new mom of a deployed service member could use a little TLC… and they will rally resources for her.
 
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