Being Unsociable

[Meadowsweet]

All too often I've read about the heartache friends and relatives feel when somebody they know with PTSD starts to withdraw or isolate, and It's something I find difficult to explain.

At the moment I'm noticing how unsociable I want to be and I still can't explain it.

I don't feel dislike or fear about people. I don't feel cold or uncaring and I don't want to come across as rude at all. It's more that it feels too difficult or like it will take too much energy just keeping track of the interaction.

I feel seperate and in my own world, and it takes effort to come out of it. I can do autopilot, smile in the right places, say what's expected if needs be but it's like doing a hard days work. I just want to shut off and lie down.

I just wondered how being unsociable feels to others.

 

[Ice_Fire]

It feels pretty much exactly as you described it. I force myself to interact sometimes so that I don't offend the people I care about, but I still come across as distant. It's so exhausting trying to keep up with a conversation at times.

 

[piratelady]

I couldn't have said it better myself, MS. That is exactly how it feels to me as well. When I try to interact with people when I really feel the need to isolate, it is completely exhausting. The other side I struggle with is going back into the world when I feel like i can - it makes me feel so awkward.

 

[kdblossom]

I feel the same way. I try to explain to people I that I just do not want to be around people but they don't get it. I feel so socially handicapped sometimes.

 

[^^FlyingSolo^^]

I feel seperate and in my own world, and it takes effort to come out of it. I can do autopilot, smile in the right places, say what's expected if needs be but it's like doing a hard days work. I just want to shut off and lie down.

100% How it is with me exactly.

I force myself to interact sometimes so that I don't offend the people I care about, but I still come across as distant.

Yes exactly 100%!

It blows me away you guys articulate these feelings so incredible well.

Thanks,

Solo

 

[Let It Be]

Ditto!!

Shaking my head, affirmative!

Yelp, that's me!

My thoughts exactly!

 

[Meadowsweet]

Wow, I am surprised how similar this feeling is for everybody. I wasn't expecting that.

I'm sure there is a funny irony in that what I have most in common with others is the need to isolate :D

 

[Hashi]

I'm afraid I do think I'm quite cold and uncaring with regard to this.

The little socialising that I still do is for my sake, not other people's. I know I'm in danger of dropping out of the world altogether, and I know that wouldn't be a good thing. Much as I'd like to, I can't afford to let myself give up completely with socialising, like I can't afford to let myself give up completely with being financially responsible, taking care of myself or therapy. But I give up as much as I can.

 

[Srain]

I find myself losing the ability to speaking freely and instead start hearing my own voice echo in my head. I become so self-conscience that I literally am unable to continue any sort of conversation even with my own husband without injecting apologies to a nauseating degree, therefore I retreat and isolate.

It's like a switch goes off in my head and my sensory levels heighten to a degree that is completely unbearable. Sound, light, smells, my skin, everything is buzzing and virtually unbearable for me. I find that sometimes I will be talking while looking without seeing. I have to disengage to breathe.

I'm sure there is a funny irony in that what I have most in common with others is the need to isolate

HA! Too true and what a relief for me..whew! Although I have to reengage to remember it! How ironic is that? ;)

Hashi, I agree with you, I have to stay in the habit of being around others, if nothing else to remember that their impression of me is not the same as my own.

 

[Chondra]

Much like what Hashi said. I avoid people so much it is unhealthy.

I need connection and relationships with people so I fight my tendency to avoid others and force myself to interact when I am able. I consider this "exposure therapy" :laugh:

Does anyone know if this gets better/easier? I think I am turning into a hermit.

 

[Chincho]

I feel the same. I find myself isolating more and more.

Sometimes I miss my friends so much it hurts, but I feel I don't have anything to say to them. Weird, right?

 

[Srain]

Chondra, I know it does. I often use email, FB, texting, voicemail, mailing cards (yes, snail mail), whatever I can to reach out.

I'm not great at it but I try to keep connected even if it sucks. It's amazing how time passing is very different for each person, what seems like years for me is not the same for others. I'm very grateful for new technology and old, there are ways to keep creatively in touch when I'm not feeling in touch with myself.

Take good care,
Rain