General Better In Time

[Frankie]

My love left on August 11, his PTSD got the better of him....I hadn't heard from him since...till 2 days ago, one short message saying "I miss you also, very much" and I will write more later."

Even though I still love him very much, and know it will take a long time to heal, I will not not allow myself to hope and get hurt even more ....his message can mean "I miss you, but I can't be with you and I will explain later".

I have to move on, as hard as it is, I can't wait and hope, that will only destroy me, I can't live on hope. I want to be happy again.

For all of you who have loved and lost their love, I have copied and pasted the lyrics of a beautiful song that touches me a lot and I wanted to share it with you. When we hurt and are trying to heal, it is a sad song to listen to, but it also tells us what we all know, and that is: We deserve to smile and be happy again.


Better in Time.....by Leona Lewis

It's been the longest winter without you
I didn't know where to turn to
See, somehow I can't forget you
After all that we've been through

Going coming thought I heard a knock
Who's there no one
Thinking that I deserve it
Now I realise that I really didn't know
If you didn't notice you mean everything
Quickly I'm learning, to love again
All I know is I'm gon' be ok

[Chorus:]
Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time

I couldn't turn on the TV
Without something there to remind me
Was it all that easy
To just put aside your feelings

If I'm dreaming don't wanna laugh
Hurt my feelings but that's the path
I believe in
And I know that time will heal it
If you didn't notice boy you meant everything
Quickly I'm learning, to love again
All I know is I'm gon' be ok

[Chorus:]
Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time

Since there's no more you and me
It's time I let you go
So I can be free
And live my life how it should be
No matter how hard it is I'll be fine without you
Yes I will

Frankie

 

[Deleted member 541]

Frankie,

Some would wait, some will not. It's a personal decision, and it's based on a lot of different personal experiences that you have had, or have not had within your relationship.

Only you can decide what is good for you....I just want you to know that I understand what you are going through, and feel for you. We PTSD sufferers can be difficult to deal with at times... I give you carers credit for what you have to put up with at times.

I also give us sufferers credit too. The things that we put up with sometimes minute by minute can be draining. There are times that we don't like ourselves or our behavior, but we are hanging on, and doing what we need to do at that moment in time....

Please take care of yourself, and do what you need to do for you........

 

[Frankie]

Hi She Cat,

Let me start by saying that I can't even begin to imagine the experiences you have all gone through that led to you having PTSD....I have great respect for the efforts you all are making in getting back your life. Yes, you should all give credit to yourselves....for all the struggles you go through for making it through the day.

I had a great relationship with my exbf, his PTSD rarely came into our relationship, and if it did, it was minor. He never shut off from me, we always had a very caring and trusting relationship.

Having said this, the reason I can't keep my hopes high is not because I hurt during our relationship, the hurt comes from after he left. What will hurt me more and destroy me are the false expections that hope might give me, and I don't want that.

However, I would have him back in my life in a heartbeat. Even knowing that something might trigger him to leave again. BUT, how many times can this go on ??

That is something I have to look deep inside me, because even that will destroy me. If he chooses to come back, we will deal with it.

In the meantime, I am trying to move on with my life, even though I love him very much and miss him very much, I can't spend my days crying and dwell on the thought that he will return. I can't live only on hope that he will choose to come back.

I have to ask myself the question "How long can I wait ? What timeframe is healthy for me ?

And even after all has been said, I have to accept that he might never come back, even though he says he misses me.

Frankie

 

[Ann Onimous]

Oh, Frankie. Every time I hear that song on the radio I start to tear up. I'm so glad someone else has listened to the beautiful lyrics of that song and felt the way that I do.

I think the text from your ex is a big step. The question is: Do you want to wait for him to explain? Do you believe that any explanation will make you feel better?

I can imagine just hearing him say, "I miss you," made you feel a little better... a reminder that you did matter to him and maybe still do. I dream of the day my ex tells me that he misses me. But, just like you, I have no idea what my reaction would be.

You gave yourself (and myself) the best advice when you said that all you can do is take each day at a time and do what's best for yourself. And just like dear Leona sang, "It'll all get better in time."

Here's to you, Frankie,
Ann

 

[Frankie]

Hi Ann Onimous,

Yea, it was a big step for him.....we will wait and see what it all means, If he ever decides to write again :) How long will I wait for an explanation ? As long as it takes, because I would like to know from him the "why" .....will it make me feel better ? no, better is not the right word...but if he explains and tells me that he can't be with me, then there will be closure.

When I read that he missed me....it was more bittersweet then anything else. Like, if he misses me...why is he not with me ? :) But I have come to understand and eventually accept.

All we can do is take it one day at the time and try to be happy

Hugs :Hug_emoticon:Frankie

 

[Vickym]

Frankie,

Aww I just listened to the song on youtube. So true and so hard at the same time! :Hug_emoticon: