Relationship Bf Combat Vet Help Please

[fuzzy]

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 4 years this Thursday. He is a Marine who served 2 years in combat. We've had similar issues before however tonight I dont know what happened. He asked me how I felt about a hypotheitcal draft and I responded honestly. I said I dont think it would happen because I believe enough people would be willing to go to war and that even if I was drafted I would do no good because I dont believe I have the mental capacity to deal with a war. If anything I was belittling myself and he got very angry said I cant call myself american, and that he had lost a whole level of respect for me. I did not belittle anyone elses choices or mock anything but simply expressed my honest opinion, did I say something I shouldnt have? He got angry and did not want to talk about it. I asked if he could respect me for a moment and at least talk about how he handled this by talking "at" me not "to" me and he wouldnt. How should I work things out if he cant respect me?

 

[SeekingSerenity]

Hello Fuzzy, welcome to the forum.

Just give him a bit of space, and a bit of time. Let that subject go for a few days, and it will pass... I'm sure its just a bit of an outburst, we have all said things we regretted later, I'm sure your boyfriend will feel differently tomorrow. Just relax and breathe Fuzzy...

 

[wife of]

Watch out for any other low flying "service" related questions. He might be looking for a concience to some of his own thoughts and then when yours do not match his....kaboom. If he insists on asking a question of a similar vein, then make it quite clear, before you answer, that you are prepared to have a reasonable discussion of whatever answer you proffer, but that the second his voice raises or he becomes Irate you are leaving. Stick to any rules you lay down!

 

[Toria]

I had this the other night. We were talking about our neighbour who was in the process of telling his wife that he wanted to seperate. He did 22 years in the (UK) Army (as did my Husband) and then after a year at home signed up to do close protection in Iraq. He initially said he was a Project Manager out there.. but that smoke screen soon fell away. He's not treating her in the fairest of manners and my Husband is the first to say that, but this conversation got on to how next door felt when he came home after 9 weeks working away. We've had the same old same old conversation before and agreed that next door cannot expect his family to drop everything, but that they do need to make him feel special now he's home and try to include him. Well, this time the conversation deviated and Husband decided to stick up for the neighbour - but was talking very much in the present tense about coming home from war and not having a place in the family etc etc. He got really really worked up about it so I'm guessing it brought a whole load of supressed feelings from his previous marriage to the fore. We agreed to disagree and it has made me very wary of expressing an opinion when it comes to conversations like that.