Relationship Big Shock Tonight

[Iam]

Good for you Jawn! I am glad you had so much fun ;o)

 

[Jawn]

I didn't get to see my wife last night, but maybe that's a good thing. I've seen her nearly every day since she moved out and she probably needs a few days here and there to herself. I mean, that was kinda the point of moving out, right? I did talk to her on the phone for about 15 minutes and it was good. We are working at the Oktoberfest gathering tonight and I asked her if she wanted to go to the O'fest Saturday afternoon. She got quiet for a bit, so I said "I meant with me". She laughed and said "I know silly". She was very tired and just having trouble focusing on what I was saying, so I didn't keep her on very long. She did decide she wanted to go "play" at the O'fest with me on Saturday, so that put a smile on my face.

I'm looking forward to the weekend now.

Jawn

 

[Iam]

:o) Awesome Jawn! I am so happy for you!

 

[Jawn]

Friday night working at Oktoberfest was fun. The 4 hour shift went fast and we laughed and bantered with the customers a lot. My wife and I shared a sandwich and marionberry shortcake after our shift ended. We then made plans to go back to Oktoberfest on Saturday together. However, when I arrived at her place on Saturday she was napping and was not interested in going. So I spent about 4 hours at her house helping her arrange stuff and hanging pictures for her. Her TV was finally hooked up on Sat. morning, so we spent some time sitting in front of it and just chatting a bit. She is going to do the walk portion of Race For The Cure in Portland tomorrow morning and we are supposed to go to Oktoberfest for a couple of hours after she gets back. I am looking forward to it.

So today (Saturday) was another good day. Oh yeah, I got 3 hugs today and she initiated 2 of them. She also told me she appreciated my help with stuff today.

So tomorrow is German beverage and food day! Yum!

Jawn

 

[amethist]

Keep taking the baby steps Jawn.

However long it takes for your wife to get back, it will be with the knowledge that you gave her the space she needed to heal.

Hugs to you for getting it so right for you both.

Amethist

 

[jenkins123]

Jawn

I've followed your thread and you are an inspiration to all of us who are struggling with the "give them space" advice. Your baby steps and patience are so clearly working, AND giving you some happiness. Well done!

Jenkins123

 

[Jawn]

We spent 3.5 hrs at Oktoberfest today and enjoyed ourselves. We shared some food and beer, and wandered around looking at all the stuff vendors had for sale. I also made it over to the hot rod show too. Lots of Dachshunds running around as they had races with them. It was a fun day although we did have to dodge the heavy rain a time or two and go inside. All in all, we made a couple of purchases from the vendors and ate way more than we should. Although I know for sure my wife ate today!

She did ask me today if I was going to ask what she ate since yesterday I did lecture her briefly for not eating all day.....well, not until about 4pm any way. She then proceeded to tell me what she had for breakfast and a snack at the event this morning. I was laughing as she was telling me this and acting all proud that she ate something good. We were parked side-by-side today and as we put our purchases into our cars, she hugged me and said "thanks for a fun day". That made me very happy. Although it is still veruy hard watching her drive away and know she is going to her place and not our house.

But I know she needs to have some time & space to focus on her therapy and getting better. Then she can come home and we can work on "us". I look forward to that day and keep telling myself to have patience and to not push her.

Jawn

 

[Iam]

Sounds absolutely wonderful Jawn! Things really sound so hopeful. I am happy for you!

 

[Tinyflame]

That's so nice Jawn :)

-Fun and relaxing and doing different things are hugely important.

 

[Jawn]

I have not seen my wife since Sunday and it's getting to me some. Sigh....patience Jawn, patience. I feel like rushing home right after work to see if I can catch her at the house taking care of the dogs, but I feel I probably shouldn't do that. Let her have time/space away from me. I know I will see her on Friday because I will be picking up my granddaughter after work and will have her until Sunday. Not sure if my wife will come stay at the house for the weekend or if she will just come out for a few hours. Oh, we do have my company picnic on Saturday, so that will be a few hours together right there.

She did mention something the other day about Thanksgiving dinner being at her sisters house instead of her parents house. It wasn't clear to me whether that was just small talk or if that means I am being included in those plans. I suppose I should ask for clarification, but I didn't feel like pushing the issue at the time. Besides, Thanksgiving is not on the immediate horizon yet.

Meanwhile I am keeping busy in the evening doing research and writing for an article for a Diabetes magazine. I have a freelance 1-time article to write. My deadline is Sept. 30th, so I need to keep busy with that and any subsequent edits I think I need to make. It's a nice distraction for sure.

Jawn

 

[a3a2]

You are amazing, Jawn! Keep up the good work and the patience!

 

[Jawn]

Thanks a3a2. I keep telling myself to be patient, but it's easier said than done. I did get an email from my wife today, so I will take that as a consolation to seeing her. Nothing big, but still some kind of communication.

I made the mistake(?) last night of looking at a lot of pictures from our marriage. On one hand it really helped me remember the good times, many of which were not in my immediate memory. On the other hand, it did bring me down too. I found some pictures from a cruise we took about 10 yrs ago and there are 2 photos that I am getting reprints made (& enlarged). We are on the deck of the ship at night and the wind was really blowing. Our hair is flying up like crazy because of the wind and we are in our formal attire, so it's a bit humorous to see. The 1st picture was taken by me. We are together and I just held the camera out and snapped it. The 2nd one is from a couple of minutes later when a passer-by saw me take that picture and offered to take one for us. Both are great pictures and we are both laughing and smiling. Good times. I found a frame at lunch today that I am going to put the pictures in, but now the question in my mind is do I hang it on the wall at home, or put it in my office? I don't want to put it up and put pressure on her when she sees it. On the other hand, she might like it. I just don't know. My T says if I have any doubts, then put it in my office for now and take it home later when I know for sure it is OK. Anyone have any thoughts on that?

Jawn