Relationship Big Shock Tonight

[Froggie]

Well Jawn, that's the red tape when there is a separation/divorce. Been there ... and never went back ! So I can understand what you're going through with an "I'm first" person. Believe me buddy, really builds up a caracter

You'll have the strenght and the support of so many of your friends here. Better days up ahead and don't forget that you are a good person.

 

[amethist]

So many have been through this process, no PTSD involved either.

It is so hard when you want to go through it with as little hurt and upset as possible. Unfortunately this is not always the way it ends up.

Sometimes you have to take a stand and say no more to all the giving in to every small detail, just because you don't want to be mean. It is not being mean though, more standing up for yourself and not becoming a door mat.

So hard to see them walk away, when you still feel the love for them. It does get easier and your life does come back, eventually.

Take care Jawn. Many of us know how you are feeling right now.

Amethist

 

[Iron_Angel]

Hey Jawn, I just want to add my support as well. I'm new around here, but I've been through a divorce and you are getting some great advice from everyone here. What Amethist just said is important. You will get past this, and it IS possible to get over the hurt so that you can even be friends with your wife afterward.

I was married for 16 years and our divorce was very difficult in many ways (aren't they all?) but we were able to eventually put it all behind us and maintain a good relationship. To this day, if my ex-husband needs a real friend, it's me he calls. We've known each other now for 40 years, through thick and thin, good and bad.

It's absolutely okay to take care of yourself in this process, as many have said, and make sure your interests are protected. You can do that and still keep to the high ground. When some time has passed later on you will be glad you did the best you could in a tough situation.

Sending hugs and prayers your way.

 

[Mellotron]

I'll throw my support in as well. You're dealing with this pretty well, given the circumstances; I have no idea if I'd be able to cope as well in your position.

 

[Nicolette]

How are things going Jawn?

 

[Jawn]

We had a second meeting to discuss things and I gave her a stack of printouts about 1 inch thick to look at. It was my validation for what certain things are worth, so she will look it over and get back to me to let me know if she agrees with my "numbers". We discussed a few more issues and I gave her copies of some things the attorney wanted to see (stuff I expected she would want copies of). All in all, it was pretty positive and only lasted about 30 minutes or so. She has also done some of the tasks that I asked her to do. Since she was here at the house she wanted to trim one of the dogs, so I helped her with that. Another one of those days where she called me "hon" 3 or 4 times. Just makes me shake my head, but I'm just going to chalk it up to 18 yrs of habit. Yep, we got together 18 yrs ago this week. Sheesh, where did the time go?

I've been spending a lot time on "hospital hill" in Portland. A friend of mine was life flighted into OHSU after having a severe heart attack, my girlfriend's daughter (err, female friend

) is in a coma at the Doernbecher children's hospital next door, and my brother is in the VA hospital just down the road. My brother got about 1/2 of a foot amputated and was just moved to an isolation unit today because of MRSA. So lot's of time at the 3 hospitals, going to work, and sleeping.....such a life. lol On a more positive note, the little girl seems to be coming out of her coma today and my friend went home. Now if they can just control the MRSA maybe things will start looking up for my brother too. Luckily all 3 hospitals are connected by sky bridges, so walking between them is pretty easy.

Now if I just don't get any more tickets while driving home from the hospitals, life will be pretty good.

Jawn

 

[deer_in_headlights]

(((((((((((((((((Jawn)))))))))))))))))

 

[valdoodle]

((((((((hugs)))))))) Jawn...... you are giving me hope for my future alone. thank you.

 

[ISupportHer]

I'll second Deer's reaction except mine is a big ((((MANHUG))))

ISH

 

[Tinyflame]

Me too, (not a man-one tho

), (((((Jawn))))

 

[Nicolette]

Now if I just don't get any more tickets while driving home from the hospitals, life will be pretty good. :eek:

Bit heavy on the old peddle (gas) hey Jawn? Over here tickets are a killer both in points and $$$$$$$$$$$$$

You should slow down and save the ticket money for romancing.

 

[Jawn]

Well the ticket wasn't for speeding although there are times they could get me for that! I have HID headlights in my car and the cop said they were blue which is illegal. Well, the HID's are white, but at a distance there is a slight blue tint. I didn't argue and was polite, so he told me if I fixed them and show him I put in the correct lights, then the ticket will go away. My mechanic friend says the bulbs are legal, but we put in some that are even whiter, so the cop will be happy.....I hope!

Hmmm, saving money to romance sounds good to me! Would I call that my condom fund?