6 November is a bloody awful day for me, my grandmother died on the 6th November 2000 and I was badly burned on 6 November 2009, necessitating skin grafts, an induced coma and a whole lot of pain. So I struggled through the date, then our baby got sick, last night we actually rushed him to hospital and I was struggling pretty bad. I coped, but it was pretty bloody ordinary.
Then today I go up to the shops to get baby Panadol. In about 1997 I was in a car accident, a rather bad one, at one of the major intersections in the town I grew up (8 lanes each side), on the 23 December, right in the Christmas rush, in the rain. So I go to the shops, there is a massive building project going on and I find myself caught in Christmas shopping, a chaotic situation (where road rules apparently don't apply) and dealing with obnoxious f*wits.
Next thing I know, I'm shaking, having a full on panic attack (shortness of breath, sweating, nausea, pain in both shoulders and across the chest). I understood what was happening and was not only able to slow down, be mindful, and do what I had set out to do (albeit significantly slower than I had planned), but I also kept my cool, didn't argue, and was able to explain to my wife, when I returned home, that I was struggling and why.
It feels odd admitting to having a weakness, a chink in the armour as it were, but it feels good to be able to do so and to actually strengthen myself by doing so. I just thought I'd share it, it is one more step on the journey.
Then today I go up to the shops to get baby Panadol. In about 1997 I was in a car accident, a rather bad one, at one of the major intersections in the town I grew up (8 lanes each side), on the 23 December, right in the Christmas rush, in the rain. So I go to the shops, there is a massive building project going on and I find myself caught in Christmas shopping, a chaotic situation (where road rules apparently don't apply) and dealing with obnoxious f*wits.
Next thing I know, I'm shaking, having a full on panic attack (shortness of breath, sweating, nausea, pain in both shoulders and across the chest). I understood what was happening and was not only able to slow down, be mindful, and do what I had set out to do (albeit significantly slower than I had planned), but I also kept my cool, didn't argue, and was able to explain to my wife, when I returned home, that I was struggling and why.
It feels odd admitting to having a weakness, a chink in the armour as it were, but it feels good to be able to do so and to actually strengthen myself by doing so. I just thought I'd share it, it is one more step on the journey.