Blurred And Snowy Vision During Dissociation?

[Deleted member 35429]

Last time I saw my therapist I dissociated during the session. I kept telling him I couldn't hear or see him well and I felt very light, like I'm floating or dreaming. I couldn't answer his questions well and I never was able to ground myself in session. I was able to drive home but dissociation got worse. When I woke up the next morning I was still buzzing and feeling very removed and emotionless.
What was most alarming was that it got so bad that I had double vision for most of the entire next day. I was laying on the floor with completely blurred and double vision for hours. I kept walking from room to room and then laying down again. I kept trying to email my therapist but my vision was so bad I couldn't see anything I wrote.

I eventually left the house and went on a hike/run and was able to come back to earth but it was 24 hrs of vision and hearing loss and a very sedated feeling.
My question is has anyone had such severe vision problems during a dissociative episode? i kept coming out of my zombie state and worrying that I should call an ambulance because I couldn't see. Then I would go back into complete zombie stare like a mute and handicapped person. The next day I was completely fine.

 

[sedna]

Last time I saw my therapist I dissociated during the session. I kept telling him I couldn't hear or see...

I have definitely had that type of disassociation. There were times where I wondered if somehow I picked up someone else's water glass and it had drugs in it, it was so bad.

My ears used to ring so loud that I couldnt hear anything. Sometimes everything just seemed like a dream sequence in a movie and surreal.

I wish I knew what to tell you about why that happens, but I still dont know. I rarely get that anymore now, but I struggled with that for several years.

If its not side effects from meds and its disassociation then it will get better. You are not alone!

 

[Stickler]

I tend to hallucinate whirling black objects, like rags.

 

[katurian]

I've experienced my vision going fuzzy during dissociation as well. The worst for me though was losing the ability to move any part of my body and just lying unable to move or speak for hours.

 

[Deleted member 35429]

Wow thanks coco9 yes that's exactly it, I kept thinking that if I didn't know better I would think my therapist drugged me, and I kept walking from room to room wondering where the hell the ringing is coming from in my house. Finally realized it was my own ears... Thank you for sharing. I've been genuinely wondering if maybe there is something else wrong with me...I'm not on any meds so this is all me.. Very trippy stuff.

 

[Friday]

I get tunnel vision pretty badly. The entire rest of the world blurs except what is right in front of me ...or worse becomes something like a kaleidoscope circus with everything too bright, too loud, too everything, assaulting all of my senses all at once, and f*ck you world, go away!!!

The best thing for it in my experience, is focused exercise, or focused fine motor. Then gradually the rest of the world starts getting clarity coming back to it... Whether it's details filling in, or harshness fading away.

***

Although sometimes, everything just becomes a wash. Different kind of disassociation than those 2 above. Can't think. Can't see. Can't hear. Feels like a bomb went off too close to me. Seriously disoriented. Everything is kind of shaky like the film in the projector is skipping. In those instances, being given tasks to accomplish by someone else seems to work, when nothing else does except sleep. Downside is that particular form of disassociation tends to kick in hard when I'm about to start having a lot of flashbacks and panic attacks. It's like my past and my present is blurring together, fighting for space in my head, and my senses are caught in the middle. My usual grounding tricks don't work. Being given tasks to accomplish works, but I rarely have someone around to boss me. So I usually just find a place to lay down or zone out and stop fighting. And those cycle can run for hours or days. Never know. They're rough. An old man saved my ass in a grocery store a few months back. Just sorta glommed onto me and kept having me fetch him things until I was back in reality. It was... Such a huge gift. Exactly what I needed, when I needed it. I'd be embarrassed -I hate it when my crazy is showing- if I weren't so damn grateful.

 

[Deleted member 35429]

I can relate to a lot of this, Friday. Thanks for sharing, you explain it better than I ever could. I keep having days where I think PTSD is behind me and won't ever come back and then something happens that causes such terrible dissociation or reliving that I want to check myself into a mental hospital.

 

[Ronin]

Yep. Not a stranger to all of the above & you're not alone with it.

 

[Dissociated1]

I find myself dissociating this way when my psychologist probes into things I do not want to face. It seems to be my mind's last defense after my other alters have done their best to try to protect me. It starts out as a general sense of confusion followed by an inability to understand "big adult words" and hearing her speak in a Charlie Brown adult voice "Wha-Wha-Wha-Wha-Wha." If the conversation persists long enough my mind shuts off completely and I sit staring at the wall unresponsive to the outside world.

 

[Poofycat]

I have similar cycle. You tend to get used to it. Something triggers severe dissociation and I just know I'm going to be useless for the next 24 hours or so. Sometimes it's vision, other times it's sounds or just feeling like there's glass wall between myself and rest of the world. That's when self care becomes really important. If you can, find a place you feel comfortable and safe. Keeps cans of soup stocked up so that you have easy, healthy meals on hand. Try to find an activity that is relaxing, like watching a favorite TV show, listening to music, or coloring. It's great that a hike/run worked for you. Are you a trail runner by any chance (I am, hence the question)? I've found that climbing works great for me because it forces my body and mind to work together.

The main thing to remember is that this is normal and not to judge yourself. And that it will eventually go away.