Blurry Flashbacks

[Res]

Flashbacks are a kind of new thing for me, considering I didn't stop repressing memories until a year ago. The memories that I first began flashbacking to were memories of me 6months to a year ago. And then I would begin remembering other events in my life as something triggered them. These memories didn't really seem like they had been blocked out completely though. Just that they had been happy parts of my life that got repressed along with everything else. Now however, since I've suspected that there's a lot from my trauma from 6 years ago that I've blocked out, I've gotten two flashbacks. The first one was very faint at first, and then immediately began getting blocked back away (felt like the memory was slipping from my mind) but I somehow managed to grab it and get a general sense for what happened. It made me cry a bit... but I'm okay now, as long as I'm not verbally talking about it or reliving it in my mind. But then just about an hour ago, I had what seemed like another flashback. A forgotten memory. A recognizable box that I related to the girl who bullied me in my other flashback. And I was crying, both in real life and in my memory. But the image lasted for only a fraction of a second. And I didn't have much time to grasp onto it and remember what happened. What was up with that box? The whole image seemed blurry. I have a feeling that something was written on it though. But I'm not sure. I don't even really have the slightest clue as to what happened. Where that image came from, since now it's gone.

I'm wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience where you feel like you're remembering something, but then the memory is gone before you can see it clearly or even make anything of it?

 

[Akita]

I'm not sure if this helps, but my memory in general is fuzzy... places, I can remember vividly, but when it comes to people, I can't remember what they looked like at all. Even my own family members, I can't remember what they looked like back then... the only way I'd know really was by looking at a picture of them but aside from resembling the person I don't think there would be any other way for me to tell.

As for flashbacks like that, I might have, but then again the only trues flashbacks I've had only occurred twice, and the others my objective was splitting fantasy from reality and keeping them separate. Despite how much I'd like things to be over and done with, my black and white views of reality and the intolerance of being dishonest overpowers that every time.

 

[Res]

I have the same problem with people in my memories. They never really seem to have faces, or wear clothing either. They are just gray figures. But I seem to be able to know who they are, I just can't remember how they look.