I have recently been getting sensory flashbacks of my trauma 3 years ago. It often happens in the evning (when I'm most uncomfortable) I get pains in my pelvis (similar to the rape) and feel like I'm being forced to perform oral sex (similar to the rape) , I dont know how to deal with this , And I'm not sure how to explain this to my T , It sounds so crazy because clearly it not actually happening again , but I genuinly find myself in pain and it terrifies me. I dont understand why I would feel these sensations on my boday now that the rape has passed. I'm so confused and frightend. Has anyone else experianced anything like this before? Would be good to just know I'm not alone / going crazy.
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Body Memories/ Flashbacks, Help/ Advice I'm At Breaking Point
- Post starter sarahts
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You aren't crazy. I have had flashbacks that make me feel I am right there once again. It makes me nauseous and difficult to function for a while. I understand the difficulty... and the insanity of it. For an entire day I couldn't get the after affect of the smell of vomit out of my nose it seemed... just from this flashback!! Sensations, smells, visuals... makes you feel a bit like you are losing it.
For me, I had repressed the details and they seem to be coming back in order for me to put them in their proper place. I think there are things I need to acknowledge to be able to put it more past me now. I am no authority and everyone if different, yet I think I haven't really faced much of it and it haunts me til I do. They say our brain is finally ready or able to cope when this begins... hard to understand that but it makes sense.
You are not alone in this. And I can say it has gotten better in that I know what to expect and how I will feel my worst for a while but I come out of feeling I am trying to put this beyond me! I disassociated so successfully I think, for me to really understand my reactions and stop blaming me I need to remember.
Your T will not be new to this... discuss it. Coping techniques are important and making yourself present when it happens helps. I use a mantra I say, "I am here!" as I stomp my foot to keep me from losing reality and the "now." Certain steps you can take will help you feel a little more in control and remind you, you are no longer being victimized but survived and work through, then past it!
I wish you luck. I do not know if this helps... we are all so different, yet I do know we are all searching for the peace we need. Try anything and everything that sounds like a comfort and safety to you!!! ((((hugs)))
For me, I had repressed the details and they seem to be coming back in order for me to put them in their proper place. I think there are things I need to acknowledge to be able to put it more past me now. I am no authority and everyone if different, yet I think I haven't really faced much of it and it haunts me til I do. They say our brain is finally ready or able to cope when this begins... hard to understand that but it makes sense.
You are not alone in this. And I can say it has gotten better in that I know what to expect and how I will feel my worst for a while but I come out of feeling I am trying to put this beyond me! I disassociated so successfully I think, for me to really understand my reactions and stop blaming me I need to remember.
Your T will not be new to this... discuss it. Coping techniques are important and making yourself present when it happens helps. I use a mantra I say, "I am here!" as I stomp my foot to keep me from losing reality and the "now." Certain steps you can take will help you feel a little more in control and remind you, you are no longer being victimized but survived and work through, then past it!
I wish you luck. I do not know if this helps... we are all so different, yet I do know we are all searching for the peace we need. Try anything and everything that sounds like a comfort and safety to you!!! ((((hugs)))
Yes I agree with Artista, practising mindfulness, also distractions. I have found now what is possible and useful is to think of good things, 'now' things, real things, to literally almost force myself into thinking that and stay with that present moment and not let my mind (or body) go down that same old road.
Also what I have found helpful, is to try to think of something happy and good that is within the relative-present and counters whatever emotion you are experiencing, eg. if it's fear then happiness or hope or peace, helplessness then protection, shame then validation, etc.
Also what I have found helpful, is to try to think of something happy and good that is within the relative-present and counters whatever emotion you are experiencing, eg. if it's fear then happiness or hope or peace, helplessness then protection, shame then validation, etc.
My flashbacks and pelvis pain are severe, so that I have to bow my head and cry, or if at work lock myself in the bathroom, or put my head down all the time and breathe deep.
My advise to not to fight it. Try to "listen" to your body, it sounds weird but just go with the flow, your body is trying to protect you. I remind myself of the date and year, to stay present. I don't try to distract myself too much, but be aware of your current surroundings, that you are now safe, and let your body do what it's gotta do. Fighting the feelings or feeling crazy or begging for it to stop is like holding your hand over the steam in a tea kettle, your body is venting and you need to just let it do it's thing. It sucks. It is disruptive. It is painful, I am often phsycially sick, vomitting. Mine are severe stomach pains, where I am doubled over and dizzy or fainting.
Hang in there, hope it gets easier. And T's are trained in this, they want you to share what's going on, their job is to help cure you these symptoms.
My advise to not to fight it. Try to "listen" to your body, it sounds weird but just go with the flow, your body is trying to protect you. I remind myself of the date and year, to stay present. I don't try to distract myself too much, but be aware of your current surroundings, that you are now safe, and let your body do what it's gotta do. Fighting the feelings or feeling crazy or begging for it to stop is like holding your hand over the steam in a tea kettle, your body is venting and you need to just let it do it's thing. It sucks. It is disruptive. It is painful, I am often phsycially sick, vomitting. Mine are severe stomach pains, where I am doubled over and dizzy or fainting.
Hang in there, hope it gets easier. And T's are trained in this, they want you to share what's going on, their job is to help cure you these symptoms.
I found your post possibly too late. My partner has been having severe flashbacks like these for about 4 years now. Our doctor thought they were panic attacks! I know they aren't because his pulse is steady but nobody wants to know.
I, like you, believe they are happening to help him sort out his amnesia....(he has about a week still missing) it was all to much for him at the time. When he was found he had lost the ability to read, write or know numbers.
When flashbacks happen, he gets a feeling it is going to happen and then BANG he is right back there. He sweats, stomach churns, is often sick. I hold his hand and talk gently to him, reminding him of his breathing. He is often sick or wets himself.
Your post is the first acknowledgement we have had that he is not alone. He has been to Combat Stress, seen army welfare workers, Doctors and Psychiatrists and nobody has given any help/advice on this. I don't understand why the 'professionals' have not acknowledged this or helped here. It seems like a great big cover up. We don't want to sue anyone, just get him better.
He is thinking of going it alone (moving out) to get better. I hope we can work through it with the help of this forum. Thank you for the post and I would like to return your ((((hugs)))).
orphaned child
New Here
I believe the medical term for body memories is somatic hallucination. You can be perscribed certian meds to stop this. It is more common than you think and therapists and psych's are trained in this.
I went through this too, my psych recommended I read a book 'waking the tiger' by Peter Levine, i found it very helpful to back up my therapy sessions as it explains how our bodies remember our traumas, its available through Amazon.
For your reinsurance, since working through my traumas in therapy, my body doesn't remember so much and when it does i can use my strategies to help me through it.
Please try to get some professional help with this, it will make all the difference to you.
For your reinsurance, since working through my traumas in therapy, my body doesn't remember so much and when it does i can use my strategies to help me through it.
Please try to get some professional help with this, it will make all the difference to you.
I'm not sure if this helps but you are not alone nor are you crazy. After years of working on my cPTSD I had what for me were sensory flashbacks from something I had never dealt with during any kind of therapy, nor had a real problem with as far as all the trauma I dealt with, had flashbacks about etc. It just wasn't an issue for me in the scope of "everything" else I had to wade through. Just 2 or 3 years ago I was driving in town and a smell hit me. I was instantly vomitting (never done this before although I probably should have), pulled of the road and was right in the middle of the very first car wreck/death I ever saw, when I was maybe 12-14. I have spent my life dealing with Fire/EMS but that was my first encounter with trauma/death and too up close and personal and at a very young age.
So, that smell sent me right back into that wreck along with the vomitting. Nothing like this has happened during my 12 years or so of working on ptsd, post "crash". Kind of blew my mind as I felt like I had experienced most anything that could pop up.
Apparently, I needed to revisit and process that accident scene. I talked about it with a therapist on the phone. She thought it best to just "let it happen and see what else comes up" . It happened a few more times and not happened since although I picked up another "smell" in one house that sent me out in a hurry.
As others have stated a response like this or yours is usually a reminder that...things still need processed....either Huge ones or tiny, and often the key has been for me and others....to uncover lies and false beliefs that we have...usually about ourselves.
So I would say that what you are going thru is very common. Just know that it can and will get better. Daisy made some great points....don't fight it, remind yourself that nothing bad is going on at that moment and force yourself to get grounded in things around and about you...and tell yourself some positive things.
At the risk of going "too far" you might?, during those moments, see if you can come up "self-feelings" ie. mad, guilt, hate...what ever is inside you at that time. If you are up to it write down any pictures that come up. Just don't push any of this while alone. Much better to do this in the presence of a therapist etc. which brings me back to the begining : that's how you approach your therapist by telling him/her exactly what you wrote here.
Talking about it all, to anybody is extremely difficult for all of us at first. It does get easier as long as we have the right people to talk to.
You can and will get past this. I've seen too many people that have to think otherwise. Just need the right kind of help, and people to talk to....as we all do.
Hang in there
So, that smell sent me right back into that wreck along with the vomitting. Nothing like this has happened during my 12 years or so of working on ptsd, post "crash". Kind of blew my mind as I felt like I had experienced most anything that could pop up.
Apparently, I needed to revisit and process that accident scene. I talked about it with a therapist on the phone. She thought it best to just "let it happen and see what else comes up" . It happened a few more times and not happened since although I picked up another "smell" in one house that sent me out in a hurry.
As others have stated a response like this or yours is usually a reminder that...things still need processed....either Huge ones or tiny, and often the key has been for me and others....to uncover lies and false beliefs that we have...usually about ourselves.
So I would say that what you are going thru is very common. Just know that it can and will get better. Daisy made some great points....don't fight it, remind yourself that nothing bad is going on at that moment and force yourself to get grounded in things around and about you...and tell yourself some positive things.
At the risk of going "too far" you might?, during those moments, see if you can come up "self-feelings" ie. mad, guilt, hate...what ever is inside you at that time. If you are up to it write down any pictures that come up. Just don't push any of this while alone. Much better to do this in the presence of a therapist etc. which brings me back to the begining : that's how you approach your therapist by telling him/her exactly what you wrote here.
Talking about it all, to anybody is extremely difficult for all of us at first. It does get easier as long as we have the right people to talk to.
You can and will get past this. I've seen too many people that have to think otherwise. Just need the right kind of help, and people to talk to....as we all do.
Hang in there
shannonmarie223
New Here
I realize this forum is kind of old, But I was googling and came across it and still want to post. I was raped new years of 2011 and am just now beginning to deal with the trauma and my emotions and the side effects through therapy and other means. I've been experiencing horrendous stomach pains when intercourse with my boyfriend becomes a little more heated/aggressive. I experienced the same pains during the rape and the day after. And now everytime it reaches a certain level with my boyfriend, I just have to stop and curl over and rock back and forth in pain and dizziness and nausea. It sounds like a body memory from what I've read. Definitely something I will be bringing up to my therapist. I hope there's someone else out there reading this.. maybe we can talk.
I am just now reading this forum even though it is kind of old. My sensory flashbacks are the way daisy_may described hers. I have suppressed my trauma so long that sometimes I wonder why my body is doing this now.
I had abuse of every kind as a child, but my sensory flashbacks of childhood are of my SA. I was also raped over 15 years ago. All of this was suppressed until last year. I guess that's a long time for my body to hold all these memories.
I hope it has helped you a little to know you are not alone.
I had abuse of every kind as a child, but my sensory flashbacks of childhood are of my SA. I was also raped over 15 years ago. All of this was suppressed until last year. I guess that's a long time for my body to hold all these memories.
I hope it has helped you a little to know you are not alone.
HëllaBubz
Diamond Member
My rape was in 2007, my most recent assault was 2009.
You aren't crazy, I still feel it sometimes too, but the worst is after nightmares.
I remember every kick, punch, slap and everything else. I can actually feel it now as I type this.
You aren't crazy, I still feel it sometimes too, but the worst is after nightmares.
I remember every kick, punch, slap and everything else. I can actually feel it now as I type this.
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