Body Remembering Anniversaries

[ams]

I know the psychological aspect of getting more edgy and stuff around the anniversary, but is it possible and probable for your body or unconscious to remember. I'm asking because lately (past week or two) I've been more on edge and moody, irritable, not talking to many people, and dissociating. Been having a harder time sleeping and just very distant. I just realized Halloween is coming up, which is an anniversary. Is it possible for me to be reacting to the nearing anniversary, without really consciously being aware that it's coming up? Does that even make sense?

Thanks

 

[Iam]

From everything I have read and experienced I would say an unequivicable "yes" to that ams.

 

[Nishkaa]

I just got hit with an anniversary. I won't talk about it here, but it was trippy, I was just writing and that lead to something else leaking through and I started to get upset, and then it hit me like tonne of bricks-- it was this week, I lost someone very close, he was living with me at the time. I bawled hard, like really unravelled, really undone. My body is still buzzing from it. I'm going to rest soon.

I just think that naturally this time of year, and if I'm experiencing a bit of depression that seems to open things up wide. I find it really really bizarre. I haven't cried like I did today, in I don't know how long, it was deep cry, from deep within, shaking, rumbling cry-- I'm still rumbling from it. It's also connected with a really heavy childhood loss-- a double whammy, but hey, I get it both out at the same time.

 

[Evangeline]

Hi ams, yes is my own experience.
It is 17 years since I awoke in a burning house with my children.

Even when I do not realize the date, my body reacts and remembers.
I see and smell smoke, hear exploding glass and feel ill to say the least.
Every year!

I mentioned this to a psychiatrist who wasn't surprised.

I am careful to prepare for the date and always have yummy food and a feel good movie ready.
By being ok to remember I feel empowered and seem to manage much better.

It was something like 9 years for me to see a pattern though! Gee.

xxx Evangeline.

 

[just me here]

Just read a book: They can't find anything wrong by Clark. He was a gastroenterologist in the Portland Oregon area, and started noticing alot of strange relationships between troubled guts and all sorts of weird triggers including dates and anniversaries. One example that hit me was a patient that would have intestinal distress every time she went down a particular road, in one direction and not the other, completely indepedant of where she was headed, just whenever she drove that stretch in the one direction. He helped her realise she was on the road they went down to get out of town to go to her inlaws house, even tho it was a several hour long drive (if I remember right) that that particular road was only a small part of. Her subconcious was causing her physical pain in an attempt to say "Hey, don't you remember what happened that other time we went this way?

I can totally agree that subconciously remembering an anniversary of trauma is well within the realities of PTSD. Sorry you suffer from it. Hope you can beat it. I am sure you know that one day is the same as another unless we make it different. Sun come up, sun go down. clock strikes 12 and we do it again, no big deal, just another day.

 

[ams]

I read "Her subconcious was causing her physical pain in an attempt to say "Hey, don't you remember what happened that other time we went this way?" in your post, and said to myself, "Oh". Heh. That makes a ton of sense. I have been so busy lately and on autopilot, and haven't thought too much about any of this stuff, so when I started getting more edgy I shut down, isolating from everyone and that forced me to think a lot. Then I realized it was this season. I'm making plans to keep busy on Halloween but it's kind of hard when every year I do the same thing. I volunteer doing face-painting at a Harvest Party every Halloween. Last year I went to a friend's house after doing the face-painting, and we just stayed up talking for a while. She asked if I wanted to spend the night but after calming down enough, I went home. I did, however, end up seeing the rapist at a drive-thru on my way home, so that was stressful. I guess that's what happens when you live that close to the guy.

This year my friend will be out of town, so I'm not sure what I'm going to do after face-painting.

 

[seraphimfelldown]

I have really long wind up to my anniversaries - which all happened in the same month (like 4 of them all PTSD causing - and no not all assault or stuff i could control and all within days of each other) so I go strange about a month beforehand... Right. About. Now. I get stomach aches, strange bruising coming up - does anyone get that? And all sorts of minor problems.