Hi, I am from the SW of England and have been lurking here for few weeks after my CBT counseller suggested I check some PTSD forums out to check in on success stories (as am fixated I will never get better or any treatment will help).
Find the situation extremely difficult to talk about, but with the anonyminity of the net and knowing noone thought signing up might help me in some way. Only my wife, Doctor and counseller know I have it in my social/family/work circle and am still not ready to admit to anyone else (in case they ask me questions or ignore it).
Nobody but me knew I had a problem and why, except my wife, but she was unaware of any causes and background (put it down to me being 3 times diagnosed with Depression over the past 15yrs). I was in denial and self-medicated with recreational drugs and alcohol initially, but for last 5-6 years only alcohol until broke down in tears seeing my Dr before xmas.
Main issues for me are regular nightmares, which became worse when my children in 2001 and 2003 were born and am very dissilluisioned with humanity and what ordinary people can do to each other (including children) and my children's future in this world.
I have a lot of guilt and anger from the event, and guilt that I suffer from the condition when compared to many my experiences were maybe not so bad. So guilt and denial and now a full on drinking habit which I believe (maybe erroneously) helps keep the nightmares at bay.
I have only ever had 2 waking flashbacks in 16yrs (which also backed up my wrongful self-diagnosis that I couldn't have PTSD) when I unexpectedly came across a swarm of flies in a shed which had rotting potatoes in it and when I opened a food bin that had 100s of maggots inside it.
I am struggling with the 4 sessions of weekly CBT I've had so far, as still can't talk about it easily but my counseller is aware of what happened when for the first time I wrote down what happened and dropped it in to him between sessions.
In denial and wanting to stay that way; but the condition and it's knock on effects is now affecting family relationships and work so had to take the plunge and was formally diagnosed with the condition in December.
Have read a fair amount here, and thanks to all. Can relate alot to what is said. Prior to these past few months would avoid any mention of symptons of PTSD etc.
....so thanks to many here who have helped in even small ways without realising.
Find the situation extremely difficult to talk about, but with the anonyminity of the net and knowing noone thought signing up might help me in some way. Only my wife, Doctor and counseller know I have it in my social/family/work circle and am still not ready to admit to anyone else (in case they ask me questions or ignore it).
Nobody but me knew I had a problem and why, except my wife, but she was unaware of any causes and background (put it down to me being 3 times diagnosed with Depression over the past 15yrs). I was in denial and self-medicated with recreational drugs and alcohol initially, but for last 5-6 years only alcohol until broke down in tears seeing my Dr before xmas.
Main issues for me are regular nightmares, which became worse when my children in 2001 and 2003 were born and am very dissilluisioned with humanity and what ordinary people can do to each other (including children) and my children's future in this world.
I have a lot of guilt and anger from the event, and guilt that I suffer from the condition when compared to many my experiences were maybe not so bad. So guilt and denial and now a full on drinking habit which I believe (maybe erroneously) helps keep the nightmares at bay.
I have only ever had 2 waking flashbacks in 16yrs (which also backed up my wrongful self-diagnosis that I couldn't have PTSD) when I unexpectedly came across a swarm of flies in a shed which had rotting potatoes in it and when I opened a food bin that had 100s of maggots inside it.
I am struggling with the 4 sessions of weekly CBT I've had so far, as still can't talk about it easily but my counseller is aware of what happened when for the first time I wrote down what happened and dropped it in to him between sessions.
In denial and wanting to stay that way; but the condition and it's knock on effects is now affecting family relationships and work so had to take the plunge and was formally diagnosed with the condition in December.
Have read a fair amount here, and thanks to all. Can relate alot to what is said. Prior to these past few months would avoid any mention of symptons of PTSD etc.
....so thanks to many here who have helped in even small ways without realising.
