Boundaries work meeting, a personal Hell

[Skywatcher]

It started with photos of kids. “What does a victim look like?” Then pictures of adults. “What does an abuser look like?” Types of abusers, “I am glad to see that many of you are uncomfortable.”

I spent 30 minutes of the hour long meeting grounding, breathing tapping patterns behind my back. Frozen in my chair. The panic attack was just under the surface. He forced two people to act out a scene (there were no volunteers). I imagined what I would do if he called on me. Possibly shout “no” and start crying. That would have been extremely embarrassing.

I can’t seem to get this meeting out of my head. I keep replaying the types of abusers he described. The kids’ pictures, my own story replaying in my head.

I had emailed ahead of time for details on the meeting subject matter. I was just told that it wasn’t on sexual harassment and it was run by legal/Human Resources and about boundaries.

Has anyone else had this experience? What do you do? I’m worried that this meeting is going to continue to f*ck with my mind all week.

 

[piratelady]

That meeting sounds awful! Like why would they make people act out such a thing? What was the purpose of it? The whole thing just baffles me.

I’m glad you had some grounding techniques to employ and that you weren’t called on.

Is there a way to get out at any future meetings like this?

 

[Skywatcher]

I can’t even say what the purpose of the meeting was other than an effort to teach appropriate boundaries that should be in place to protect us from destroying our own careers or hurting people? It also trained us on calling people out if you see them victimizing or being inappropriate. It was awful though. When they asked about the consequences on a victim... I could have given a long list... if I could speak and didn’t feel shame pouring over me as I tried not to shake and felt my heart racing. The answers given? A victim is distant and won’t engage. And a victim sometimes becomes an abuser themselves. A victim can have life long problems because of it. Those were the only answers given. Ffs. Statistically there had to have been others like me hiding shame in our seats. Probably the others that seemed “uncomfortable.”

I’m contracted in. We were told that if we don’t attend the meeting we can’t work there. I’m guessing it will be an annual event.

 

[Freida]

Holy crap. that sucks.
No words of wisdom -- just...damn

 

[grit]

Strange workshop!!!

I am not sure how appropriate this is at workplace. Are you working in humanity or mental health industry? I work in corporate and cannot imagine this kind of workshop and also doing it annually....same thing???????

If they have a survey after each session, you should provide your comments anonymously. Maybe they will make changes. maybe call in sick next time.

 

[Skywatcher]

Strange workshop!!!

I am not sure how appropriate this is at workplace. Are you working in humanity or mental health industry? I work in corporate and cannot imagine this kind of workshop and also doing it annually....same thing???????

If they have a survey after each session, you should provide your comments anonymously. Maybe they will make changes. maybe call in sick next time.

I am not a “teacher,” but my job requires going into schools and working with all age groups of kids. This meeting we had to attend is one that is given to teachers in one of our school districts, so the examples and stuff to watch for really didn’t apply as much to us, however they wanted everyone on the same page. I have never been required to attend a meeting like this in any of the other school districts that we work in. I’m sure that if I didn’t have cptsd it wouldn’t have been so horrible? I have had to do paperwork and criminal back ground checks in multiple school districts... just not an inservice meeting, I mean we aren’t on their payroll, but I guess if you want in the door you have to attend. At least we were told that.