Boyfriend Has Depression/s.a.d.. Pushing Me Away Again //plz Help

[lonley21]

I'm a 43 year female and been seeing a 36 year old male ( he suffers with S.A.D. and struggles with his emotions ..been going out for a year everything’s has been great with the relationship, but we are an hour away from each other, we have been seeing each other mainly every 2 weeks but sometimes it was ¾ weeks due to life getting in the way I've always tried to understand. He doesn’t work right now but has been trying to get work.

Yesterday, 1 day before our year anniversary he decides to say he wants to be single, but can't give me an explanation at all. Doesn’t want to lose me or couldn’t bare to see me with anyone else..but he doesn’t think its an idea we should be together due to he’s not in a position to be going out with anyone.

It's too much pressure ( but doesn’t explain what pressure). Cause he has a billion things etc.. doesn’t think its equal in feeling etc..he says there’s no one else and he hasn’t gone off me, but doesn’t think its fare but he contradicts himself constantly with no real reason that he wants to be single, he doesn’t think things will get better and even if he worked it would be worse due to more hours.. he repeats saying he has nothing to give feelings wise but I ask is it cause he has no feeling for me, he says no he has strong feeling for me. I said he just wants to scrumple me up and throw me away by dumping me, he said I'm not doing that. I said but that’s what your doing.

Please help me ...I don’t know what to do..

p.s. he also dumped me in October similar reasons but blamed it on S.A.D. and when we spoke 4 days latter seemed to understand me and we were ok again, but I don’t think it helps he was drinking a lot at the time also and this time was the same he had drunk a lot of alcohol.

Thanks.

 

[Justmehere]

he's far away, doesn't seem interested in you, is an alcoholic, is extremely selfish by saying he doesn't want to lose you yet so clearly doesn't want to invest in the relationship at all, he doesn't have a job, you don't seem him often for various excuses and they are excuses.... he doesn't want to see you with someone else because well, that would be painful for him...

Your post makes me wonder what happened to you in your life to lead you to believe that you can't do better than this total loser of a guy... You mention that he has depression and SAD (and it's clearly not well controlled). So are you the one with PTSD?

He sounds like a really terrible guy who is only into himself. You can do so much better, and maybe you don't believe that, but you really can do so much better. I know this feels really painful - and it is. No one should be treated the way he is treating you. You deserve to be loved and cherished and invested in and wanted. Please dump this guy and look into why you don't think you deserve better, and go out and find someone who will treat you well.