Breaking Bad News

[Lucycat]

I have recently had the unfortunate experience of receiving bad news via facebook and was very upset by it. It has made me reflect.

I have had training in the past about breaking bad news in a professional capacity, but understand that there are no rules when it comes to personal experiences. I also understand very well, that what is right for one person is not right for another.

I think this resonates for me as my melt down 4 years ago was caused by a phone call - which to me was a 'bad news' incident. T, this week has suggested that it is why I am struggling just now - not so much about the news I received but more about how I received it, and I can identify with that.

I just wondered about other people's experiences with receiving bad news, and what examples of good practice there are out there

 

[cherryblossom]

I think it's absolutely disgraceful to share bad news in the first instance over a social network site, such as facebook.

With technology these days, there are so many better ways.

In-person, surely has to be the best way to break bad news, because both parties are present to answer further questions, and also to offer help / support etc.

But I also understand how difficult that could be. Firstly for the person telling the bad news, and also for them to pick the order of telling people, who to tell first, and the emotions involved. It's got to be a tough call to tell people bad news, when you are likely struggling to come to terms with it your self. That makes speaking directly to a person very tough indeed.

But if it's your children, partner or parents you have tell (and you have a good relationship with them), then unless travelling distance is an issue, then surely it has to be face to face?

If distance is an issue, then a phone call would be the next best thing, closely followed by an email or letter.

I only have a small family, and we're all close, so maybe my situation and therefore opinion is different from others. I would be absolutely devastated to hear bad news from any of my family via a social network site.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with sharing your (bad) news on a social network site, because it will likely be a great source of support, but you surely have to tell your family, before you tell the world?

 

[Lucycat]

but you surely have to tell your family, before you tell the world?

You are right CB.

On the other hand it has also made me think quite a lot about my own responsibility for my own reaction when receiving bad news. That is something that is never taught and a hard thing to learn. We can sometimes imagine what it is like to hear someone else's story, to try and be in their shoes, but the pain is often unbearable so we shy away. What I mean is we block the feelings of empathy at times because it is too painful. We distract ourselves and move onto thinking about our own lives.

This is not necessarily a bad thing, as self protection is a must. However it is hard to learn from experience when you are protected from the experience.