Hello everyone, I have been reading posts on this site for a little bit now and decided to join. I have spent many years doing a lot of introspection and believed myself to have C-PTSD which was recently confirmed when I finally started therapy a month ago. I also struggle with OCD, dissociation, general anxiety, panic, social anxiety, dysregulation with sleep and eating, claustrophobia, noise and smell sensitivities, and other things.
I'm glad to have found this board, it will be part of the support system I'm trying to build for myself and I hope we all can find some comfort and support in our shared experiences.
If it helps to connect, I'll list the defining things I've experienced. I hope to get to know some of you and hear what you've experienced too.
- childhood abuse (physical, verbal, mental, emotional) from both parents and brother
- parentification from mother
- alcoholism from both parents
- food insecurity as a child/poverty
- abandonment (dropped off at grandparents at young age, took care of them until they died in my arms when I was 11)
- mother was an extreme hoarder
- mother is narcissistic
- father died of cancer when I was 15
- brother is a sociopath, everyone is a means to an end
- older brother has struggled with addiction for 20 years, robbed and trampled family first
- changed jobs, lost jobs, and lost apartment several times as an adult
- no social supports, little to no friends
- trichotillomania (hair pulling) issues since I was 11
- weight loss and gain extremes (130 to 300 lbs and everywhere in between, several times)
- I deal with a lot of anger, hypervigilence, overstimulation, overwhelm, and unable to handle high stress or sudden changes to routine
Through this all, I feel grateful to have 1 person, my husband, who is the best thing that's ever happened to me. He is the only one who has ever truly loved me, without judgment, without strings attached, without expectations. He is patient, kind, gentle, understanding, and supportive. I had never experienced real love before him.
We have a child together now, which brought Post-Partum Depression issues to the forefront when he was born. I didn't realize how severe my trauma issues were and how desperately I needed to address them until my son was born and I was knee deep in PPD (which felt like it came from left field). It lasted for nearly a year. I am in a better place now by far but still a work in progress, of course.
Thank you for reading my post, wishing you all lots of positive healing vibes
️
I'm glad to have found this board, it will be part of the support system I'm trying to build for myself and I hope we all can find some comfort and support in our shared experiences.
If it helps to connect, I'll list the defining things I've experienced. I hope to get to know some of you and hear what you've experienced too.
- childhood abuse (physical, verbal, mental, emotional) from both parents and brother
- parentification from mother
- alcoholism from both parents
- food insecurity as a child/poverty
- abandonment (dropped off at grandparents at young age, took care of them until they died in my arms when I was 11)
- mother was an extreme hoarder
- mother is narcissistic
- father died of cancer when I was 15
- brother is a sociopath, everyone is a means to an end
- older brother has struggled with addiction for 20 years, robbed and trampled family first
- changed jobs, lost jobs, and lost apartment several times as an adult
- no social supports, little to no friends
- trichotillomania (hair pulling) issues since I was 11
- weight loss and gain extremes (130 to 300 lbs and everywhere in between, several times)
- I deal with a lot of anger, hypervigilence, overstimulation, overwhelm, and unable to handle high stress or sudden changes to routine
Through this all, I feel grateful to have 1 person, my husband, who is the best thing that's ever happened to me. He is the only one who has ever truly loved me, without judgment, without strings attached, without expectations. He is patient, kind, gentle, understanding, and supportive. I had never experienced real love before him.
We have a child together now, which brought Post-Partum Depression issues to the forefront when he was born. I didn't realize how severe my trauma issues were and how desperately I needed to address them until my son was born and I was knee deep in PPD (which felt like it came from left field). It lasted for nearly a year. I am in a better place now by far but still a work in progress, of course.
Thank you for reading my post, wishing you all lots of positive healing vibes
️
