Relationship Called It Quits

[MoeX]

Yesterday while looking through my phone bill I found numbers I didn't recognize on bf's cell. Calls made in the middle of the night. I asked him who it was and he decided to play dumb. I already knew it was female's cause I had called them. I was pretty upset cause I had already told him this was unacceptable to me. I told him to make a choice. That he couldn't keep stringing me along all the while saying he wanted us to work it out but putting no effort into it

Well he finally came out and said "I guess I dont want this" I said fine and hung up the phone. He kept calling me back but I really had nothing to say. Nothing productive anyway. Finally I answered and we did talk. I told him how he made me feel. How all I had asked for was honesty. How I had done nothing but support him with his PTSD and how I frankly felt used. He admitted to knowing his treatment of me is wrong. Said he didn't want to hurt me. That he does want me but does not want a relationship with me or anyone. All the things I have learned that many sufferers say.

Today I am mostly heart broken. I put so much of myself into this relationship that it kills to know I still lost in the end. It hurts to know that he has given up his family due to PTSD and that he didn't even flinch when he did it.

I would like to thank everyone here on the forum. Although I mostly lurked you all were a strength to me for quite sometime.

 

[ms spock]

Sorry you are having a rough time of it MoeXc.

This is not a happy time of it for you.

Are you in therapy to deal with your issues surrounding this?

 

[Hashi]

Oh MoeXc,

I'm so sorry for your situation. It feels inadequate to post anything, and I know there's nothing I can say to help you with this. But for what it's worth, I admire you for your respect for yourself and your decency through all this.

It sounds like you've done everything you could and the rest is outside your powers or control. I'm sorry that it has resulted in this outcome and such heartbreak for you.

PTSD sufferers are not the only ones who have to heal from huge challenges. I wish you healing.

 

[MoeX]

I am not in therapy but am cosidering trying. Its probably long over due.

He refuses to talk to me today. Which may be a good thing although I am afraid he will stop contacting our child. Its difficult but I will pull through just fine. I am determined...

 

[circe47]

So painful. I went through this with my son's father for thirteen years. Sadly, it took way to long to finally realize that he didn't deserve my 150% effort, my honesty, my loyalty, my faithfulness, my intelligence......the best years of my life.

It took me about 5 minutes to get over the relationship and thirteen years of his lying, cheating, abusing, amoral self. Seriously......what was so wonderful that I couldn't let go of? NOT A DARN THING!

I know it is a painful time for you- but you will pull through. So will your little one. If your ex stops contacting your child.....well.....perhaps your child is better off not having contact with a father who would so callously stop reaching out to his offspring.

I sometimes look back at the damage my son's father did to his son and wish I could undo it all. Fortunately, my kid ended up with a great head on his shoulders and is far ahead of where me and his father were at the same age.

My son graduated HS. Has his first real job. Is planning on moving out next month and going to college. He has a girlfriend that he treats with dignity and respect. All milestones that neither his father nor I accomplished at 18 years old.

 

[mamachick]

I admire your strength and courage. He does not deserve you.

 

[Nicolette]

Wishing you will in your future MoeXc. Life doesn't always turn out the way we planned but you can know you did your best and that's all anyone could ask of you. May your future be filled with happiness (and quite frankly, without PTSD as it is a cruel illness for all concerned).

 

[NikkiGAPEACH1970]

MoeXc,

My heart goes out to you.. I know it hurts like hell.. I've been there. But you hang in there girlfriend! You should be proud of yourself! The support and love you gave this man speaks high of your beauty and character of a great person. Take this time to heal, reflect, surround yourself with positive people, and enjoy your life. Initially, I know it will be difficult but it will get better!

 

[BewitchedBewildered]

I understand. I wish you love, strength, and happiness.