Supporter Can Ptsd Cause Infidelity?

[Queen Boudica]

Has he actually been officially diagnosed with PTSD?

 

[kizzy-love]

@Lizio listen I'm not stupid nor am I naive. I'm expressing what i see...let's forget the cheating for a moment. When u watch someone day after day prior to this situation taking place and u see them react differently to the same things, normal life things and you talk to them and have to get their attention bc they are not there you learn certain patterns. When someone gets hurt and can't remember how and you watch a video of them flying off a forklift and they don't remember it then I think it's safe to assume some things are a blur. Maybe it's not just PTSD but what I am stating our facts not assumptions or ways to excuse his actions. Sure my post is about infidelity but my concerns are beyond that. Like how will he react in a battlefield?! Or how will he stay positive during negative situations without hurting anyone?! So please don't insult my intelligence, you have your own views and opinions but everyone lives a different life, everyone's traumatic experiences are different and everyone's reactions and symptoms are different as well.

 

[Queen Boudica]

Don't insult mine either. Does this man have an official diagnosis for PTSD. Because if you are talking about him going back to a battlefield he is not diagnosed with PTSD/. Falling off a fork lift is NOT the same as having all night conversations with ex's or trying to meet up with them or sexting. PLEASE get real what you are describing is fantasy

 

[shimmerz]

Okay, bowing out. Like stated in the post about your so, you can't help someone who doesn't want it. Good luck to you.

 

[kizzy-love]

@shimmerz @Lizio You guys are so negative!! Wow!! No I don't think I'm "special-er" lol for one no one ever knew about his PTSD and yes he was diagnosed along with dissociation and for 2 he was never the type to make a commitment but for some reason chose to marry me and settle down and for 3 no one said I'm not taking any of these responses into consideration and refusing to accept the reality of things. Everyone is entitled to their opinion but geez I thought ppl are supposed to support you on this site and help you cope and give you ideas of how to go about fixing whats broken not insult you and be judgmental ...smh. I guess you made my decision to stick around very easy... Thanks!

 

[haltija]

@kizzy-love I know that it's hard to listen to because I would have told everyone to "F off" and do exactly what I felt was right anyway. That's normal. But whether he hast PTSD or not, we all here have it, and there's no magical PTSD cheating bug.

I'm sorry if you feel disrespected or harassed, but this personality type in the military to be avoiding responsibility for such behavior, which he could be in trouble for in his career, by the way, being married, a lot of trouble, could eventually be dangerous. This early on in your marriage, for him to already be cheating shows something about his personality is off.

I'm not worried about hurting your feelings, but I would have more regret for someone to be angry or offended than to end up here with the rest of us, trying to figure out what in the hell is wrong with themselves because someone decided to play "I have PTSD and therefore don't need to take responsibility for my behavior, over and over and over again."

 

[haltija]

Believe it or not, even if your husband has PTSD, it can almost be contagious. I would not have had PTSD if my life was not endangered by someone who had it themselves.

 

[kizzy-love]

@haltija that's just it he doesn't blame his actions on PTSD. I blame his feelings as "unwanted, unloved, distressed, anxious, lost, angry, sad..." on PTSD. the act itself is not excusable nor is it PTSD related I get that. The act itself is being dealt with and he regrets it and knows he was wrong. I am completely aware that his action early in marriage in a huge red flag I'm not dismissing that at all. I am looking past it and trying to work on his symptoms so if it does happen again he can't look at me in the face and tell me that I lacked in showing him the supposed attention he was looking for! This is the way I chose to go about it so yes a little support would be greatly appreciated!

 

[haltija]

Understandable. It sounds to be like you have an idea of what's going on already. Stay alert and protect yourself and maybe withdraw at times to think about things. But remember, people can't be fixed by anyone else. It's wishful thinking, unfortunately, no matter how much we care or love someone. It depends on him alone. There's nothing you can do for that. If there was, we would hand the tools to you on a silver platter. I am sure that you will make the right decision for yourself in the end. Don't be afraid to be selfish with these things. It's not wrong for it to be about you sometimes.

 

[Queen Boudica]

looking past it and trying to work on his symptoms so if it does happen again he can't look at me in the face and tell me that I lacked in showing him the supposed attention he was looking for!

And how are you going to do that? He looked you in the face and told you you weren't giving him enough attention so he needed to go else where. Oldest trick in the book.

So now you want to fix his symptoms so he can't accuse you of not giving him enough attention. How would you do that?

The guy needs therapy, not fixing his symptoms by you. You can't fix him.

 

[kizzy-love]

@haltija ... I have an idea idk everything but have enough to keep fighting. A lot of ppl may think I'm crazy for saying this but the situation itself could end up being a huge break through to getting him help. Maybe he feels very guilty and is simply trying to do what it takes to not lose me, maybe it's his way of helping me get through and not so much about himself, but last night he agreed to going to therapy which is a HUGE step for us. No matter his motives for accepting to me he's trying... he has nothing to gain from our marriage but love and family. when you don't walk away from a situation and let a person know daily that you need them, you refuse to live without them and willing to do what it takes to fix things then to me there is hope! Maybe not in a lot of ppl's eyes but in my eyes I see hope! I just need to be better equipped and ready for anything that may come my way... thanks for your encouraging words.

 

[kizzy-love]

@Lizio duh!! I don't have a medical degree or the tools to make his life better!! Of course treatment is how I would want to help him. You are choosing to read what you want. .. clearly on my earlier post I mentioned that I need to find a way to get him to go. He always felt like since there is no cure so there is nothing that anyone can do for him... if you don't have anything positive to say then please get off my feed. You are obviously very angry with life, I will pray for you!