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Research Can Someone Answer Questions About Ptsd And Memory Loss?

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Hi, there. I saw that researchers looking for information are allowed to post, so I hope this is close en...
I have to say that my memory loss was not voluntary at all, and it's been a constant frustration and cause of anger in my life. I was sexually assaulted when I was 13. I'm 23 now, and I can't even recall some events that happened up until I was 15 that were completely unrelated to the trauma. I know some people say "we all forget memories," but my friends from high school will talk about something that I have absolutely no recollection of. It's like it never happened. And since a lot of the memories I've forgotten are not related to being sexually assaulted, it is incredibly frustrating. I mean, I've had serious crying fits because it makes me so mad that my memories were stolen from me.

As far as memories related to the event, they come back really randomly. And there are bits and pieces randomly strung together. It's not concrete at all. It's like a pinterest board of memories. I have no sense of time with them. I couldn't tell you what month they happened or anything. I only vaguely know the season, and I vividly know where they took place (maybe because my brain wants me to avoid those places, but I'm not sure. That's speculative.) There might be a pattern or trigger that makes memories come back, but I haven't really paid too much attention to them. Usually, I don't want to dwell on a memory too much from the assault, so I don't try and analyze it.

One reason I think I might have memory loss is because of the serious sleep problems I had in my early teens because of being sexually assaulted. In my psychology class in college, my teacher said that newly formed memories are like a new pan of jell-o, and sleep is like the fridge you have to put the jell-o in over night for the jell-o to set. If you don't put it in the fridge properly, the jell-o won't set properly. So I'm wondering if sleep loss lead to poorly formed memories.

I think memories are really complicated. I'm in a new relationship, and recalling dates from the start of our relationship at times feels like recalling memories from the trauma. That's weird to say, but they seem pieced together in the same way. They come back in bits, and they come back randomly. Granted, when I remember our 2nd or 3rd date, I smile instead of start to panic. But maybe people with PTSD experience all memories differently. I'm not really sure. I'm just guessing. But memories are very complex. Anyway, hope that could help.
 
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