Can Someone With Ptsd Really Handle Heavy Social Media Use?

[sarahx]

Hi All,

I have CPTSD and I,m about 3 years into a rocky recovery process, during which I have experienced new traumas, near death experiences, etc. Nonetheless a huge part of me wants to be able to be function enough on a day to day basis to run my own business again, the way I have done several times in the past before my PTSD got really really bad. I have a lot of experience running online stores, and managing multiple social media accounts for myself as well as for major corporations. But a few years ago I was so triggered I had to stop working. I have tried a few times since then to work for myself but I am way too triggered/can't concentrate a full week/have difficulty being on a tight schedule.

For the last several months I have been focusing heavily on these issue, as my biggest personal goal is to run my own online store again and I would love for that to become a real source of income for me. So obviously I would need to be able to be consistent, but also I would need to HEAVILY use social media again to promote the type of products I want to sell. In fact, the IDEAL situation would be if I were brave enough to put myself out there as a face to promote products (beauty/makeup industry... think Youtube, Instagram, etc).

However, I am terrified that this would be too triggering for me. I am not scared of strangers seeing me online, I'm actually creeped out my people from my past finding me online. And I also hate finding them online too. Tonight I literally stumbled across the YouTube account of some creepy Narcissist I went on one awful date with years ago, as now he is using his young kids to garner much attention on Youtube and I clicked a link and then bam!!-- There he is in the background behind the cute kids I thought were all I was going to see!

Feeling triggered by this event tonight I have to again wonder if I am being ridiculous by thinking I might ever be able to cope with building an online brand again, especially since there is a strong chance people I don't want to ever be able to see me again would be able to find tons of photos/info about me if my online business goals came true.

 

[Muted]

I understand what you're feeling. I think it's scary to put yourself out there and risk the invasion of privacy or sense of security.

Do you think if you had a better understanding of how to protect yourself securely online that you might feel more comfortable? Is it possible to use another name or something like that?

 

[Fadeaway]

Could you get a partner. You handle the business end, while they handle promotion and social media?

I couldn't do it personally, but I know there are popular youtubers with PTSD.

 

[Muted]

That's a great idea @Fadeaway !

 

[sarahx]

I understand what you're feeling. I think it's scary to put yourself out there and risk the invasion of...

I already use another name, I would never use my real name online. People will still find me, the same way I found creepy narc dude even though after seeing his face on YouTube I STILL cannot recall his name!!!!! Name is irrelevant. If you have a photo or video online whatsoever, someone you know WILL SEE IT at some point online. I am amazed at some of the folks online with big followings who have anxiety.. I feel like some of them are very brave to put themselves online and often are subject to intense judgement, crazy comments, and being targeted sometimes by bullies, etc.

 

[sarahx]

Could you get a partner. You handle the business end, while they handle promotion and social media?

I...

I appreciate your idea, and I wish my experience would give me reason to want to try that route again.... however there is nothing I hate more than my independence/income depending on other people. This is exactly why I lived half of my life as an entrepreneur. If I were already more established at this moment, I'm sure that technically I could afford to find someone truly trustworthy and capable. But coming from the bottom right now, it is crucial to make sure I do my own thing. The reality is that business people screw each other over in this world in every industry... the more you have to deal with entrepreneurs and go-getters the more you will find a concentration of the types who will screw over a partner. As a street-wise person I don't think it's smart to have a partner UNLESS you (I), have another very good, steady income elsewhere such that if the partner doesn't live up to his/her end of the bargain, you're not left standing with nothing. Even friends and family members are often the worst people to partner with. I am willing to run my own company and later HIRE people, as I have done in the past. I am also willing to do temporary partnerships between two very established brands, but again would not start from scratch with half of my future relying on a partner. I would partner with a spouse, maybe, if I were married, but other than that, I feel with my PTSD especially it's important to take full control of my life. No bosses but me, no schedule but my own, no mistakes but mine.

 

[FireSign8]

I appreciate your idea, and I wish my experience would give me reason to want to try that route again......

I struggle with the same concerns over having my identity & location & current photos of myself in the public sector.
I have pretty much sequestered myself for many years & never use my true name on the internet. I also do not disclose my living location & always use a Post Office Box as an address on my Drivers License & State ID.
That said, have you THOUGHT about the possibility of hiring a person for the sole purpose of using their face to represent your product line? You would need to get a good attorney & a contract to protect yourself in case the person attempts to jack your business. I have trust issues & if I ever had to get a business going again, it would be with the face of someone or something that could never rip me off. Perhaps a mouse or a dog or a bird is the safest way...then there is the cartoon animation route. Hope I gave someone some helpful ideas.

 

[sarahx]

I struggle with the same concerns over having my identity & location & current photos of myself in th...

Most of the industries I'm working toward building new income streams in would absolutely require MY real face being online, and at a high frequency. However there are some ideas I have for other businesses that would minimize, but still not eliminate the need for MY real face to be relatively easy to find online. If I wanted to run a bakery for example I could use a cartoon like you mentioned, but my strongest passions thus far just so happen not to be in any industry where I could get away with that. Maybe I need to take a deeper look at my list of goals+come up with new ones that allow me to maintain extreme privacy. It's easy to imagine that maybe being so visible online is way too much pressure. I can easily imagine a hundred ways it could easily elevate anxiety, paranoia, depression, flashbacks... all that good stuff!

 

[hakunamatata]

Hi Sarah,

I am new to the forum but I can completely relate to what you are saying. I have been self-employed and (working for myself and also contracted for other organisations) for years. And during that time I have had two very bad relationships which both ended badly and resulted in stalking (one with someone with borderline personality disorder, the second with narcissistic personality disorder).

In the first instance I was naive to how bad the stalking was going to get and I was working in a very public role. This resulted in my stalker.

• Having strangers call my business number and harass me
• Slandering me and starting rumors about me
  
• Signing my email address up to receive pornographic newsletters
  
• Turning up to my workplace trying to volunteer for me
• Trying to come to work events
• Harassing and threatening my colleagues
• Making online posts saying I was discriminating against them for not letting them come to events
  
• Deleting my online business listings
  
• Attempting to hack my business paypal account
• Making their own website (which was almost word for word copy of my website except it contained violent poetry about me)

This went on for three years and I never got an intervention order because I was to scared to face this person in court. I lived in fear everytime I was featured in the newspaper and would worry what people were saying about me. Eventually after three years with no reaction from me they got bored and moved on.

I don't believe I developed PTSD at this stage but certainly learned to dissociate because it was very stressful.

After my relationship break up with a narcissist I had been hesitant about posting too much info about my new business online. But I employed a friend to help me do some marketing tasks, she was encouraging that I put myself out there and not live in fear and so I allowed her to post my address online. This is how they found my new address and began stalking me here.

I had to cancel workshops and events that I was running and refund customers money (as I did not want to put them at risk). I was devastated. However this was the catalyst for me to actually go to court and report him to the authorities for the awful things he did. It wasn't easy and it has made my ptsd and dissociation worse, but in a way it's helped me to acknowledge where I'm at and get therapy.

I still have stuff online, but have my business address removed from all promotional material. I only give out my address to clients who've booked an appointment.

Anyway, I'm not telling you all this stuff to scare you, just so your aware of what potential things could happen so you know how best to protect yourself. At the end of the day I have decided I wont let those people stop me from doing what I want to do (although the PTSD and dissociation certainly does).

Most personality disordered people are attracted to successful, entrepreneurial and empathic people, because they want what you have. And they will try to bring you down because they are envious of what you have. Some people prefer the Gray Rock method, of being really boring in the hopes they will go unnoticed. I used this when I was trying to exit that relationship, but for me it's not a life choice.

Most personality disordered people are also more afraid of you than you are of them, if you show you are strong and won't tolerate their behaviour they will cower very quickly. So if this means sending a very clear message and saying it ONCE and saying it CLEARLY. If they do overstep that boundary then call on the authorities IMMEDIATELY.

In my case, once I took it to the public realm and enlisted the help of others (Centre for Non-Violence, Legal Aid, Friends etc.) he ceased all contact with me, I don't believe he will mess with me again. This is not the case for everyone however, so you will know intuitively for you what is best in your situation.

Your safety and mental health should come first as without that you can't have a business. So if you are worried about the risk of stalking, that would mean having a (physical) safety plan in place. And support network around you who understands what your going through and can help you if this person does become a problem.

Also have plan in place to make your social media safe. This means blocking this person from what you can. Getting clear on what info you will and won't post about yourself online. Having a social media policy on all your social media sites clearly stating what is acceptable behaviour and what's not. Also you may consider enlisting someone else to monitor your social media for you. Or you may consider growing your business slowly until you have got more control of your symptoms. Keep a record of any social media interaction from this person.

Also having a plan in place on how to minimise and deal with triggers. How will you deal if this person does see something you post? How will you deal if they try to interact with you? How will you manage your symptoms? Also I'm not sure whether you are in therapy, but maybe avoiding looking at sites / pages which may be triggering until you get that under control. We can't avoid triggers forever but we can learn how to deal with them so they don't affect us so badly.

I totally understand the paranoia -I used to feel fear everytime I had to put myself out there, but I've been online, on the news, in the newspaper on the radio and at public events and now I don't really worry too much about who sees that anymore. I don't even bother to look at it myself as that just makes me paranoid and self conscious. The caveat is I won't do anything publicly that is likely to invoke a recurrence of stalking and put others at risk.

Anyway I hope that helps, we shouldn't have to live small because of what someone else did. But we just have to learn how to do it and manage our symptoms.

You can do it, you just have to make sure your wellbeing and safety are first priority. Baby steps :)

 

[Swemoor]

I had to make my social media a safe place for me after a person found my instagram and liked a photo, I panicked, I even had nightmares that night, first I made mi Instagram account private, but since I am a visual arts student is better for me if it's public, I had to take courage and block the person.

I also was about to delete my Facebook and only use WA but also blocked people there now I feel safer but as I understand you get triggered by only seeing the person so I guess is even harder for you.

But I am pretty sure you got wonderful answers by others here.

Good luck and take care

 

[VICTORIA WILLIS]

Hi All,

I have CPTSD and I,m about 3 years into a rocky recovery process, during which I have experien...

I totally empathize.
For me I couldn't handle the stress.
I tried music in my car to and from work. Rocking out helped.
Then, I discovered that social lunches with coworkers added to my stress, not relaxing. So I took off in my car, brought lunch from home and sat down in a park to eat.
Being around more people added to my stress. I needed me time a lot.