Sufferer Cannot Cope Any More - Just Want To Hide.

[Hills]

No @Care Bear it is a great book but it's reading anything that so difficult ... very little concentration. Have tried audio books on my tablet but they send me to sleep ...

@imok ...running out of money .... isn't it a ridiculous situation ... I feel so sad for you as this isn't an optional thing - needing a therapist - what other support do you have?

When our British NHS let me down in a big way, physically and mentally, it took 8 months to find someone, a therapist - I really knew I could trust. But it costs a fortune .... but without his support, I simply could not cope enough to be a Carer for my husband ... He has never asked me to recount to him all the triggering traumatic incidents ... he asked me to write them down ... he read them ... he is getting me to trace back ONLY when looking at belief systems and behaviours that have emerged or if I suffer from the intense flashbacks or dissociation from a particular incident. MInd you, we have only really just started but he's very savvy and compassionate although very direct which is unnerving. Guess I am lucky to have found him but how long I can afford to see him is another matter .....

 

[Deleted member 29899]

No other support.
Writing everything down is the same as verbalizing all the various kinds of traumas that occurred through many years. Same thing and I get retraumatized. When you've worked with a therapist for a couple years that knows your entire history including all you've tried to do to get well, including all family dynamics, dysfunction, all the ways the trauma has made you ill, all the loss, job situation, financial situation, etc,, etc., it's quite a loss.

 

[Hills]

Yes I totally get the writing down thing ...

Wow yes ... I understand now ... two years ... a long long time .... no wonder you feel that loss so acutely. I cannot imagine how that must truly feel for you.

 

[Deleted member 29899]

I recant that statement, it's not so much a loss as it is being absolutely STUCK - without help and cannot start over with someone new (even if I had the money) because of being retraumatized when I'm in this bad shape.
I'm glad you found someone decent and have to money to do so. We can (I know I have) whine about paying a therapist too much money but when the money's not there and we can't have a therapist- now that's something else.

 

[Deleted member 29899]

Sorry Hills for writing so much. I'm going to start a post 's. obssessed' and anyone can respond to me there.