Change...the one constant in the Universe

[Eagle3]

My dear, wonderful, awesome therapist, the man who beat cancer and I've been seeing for 6 years now, is leaving private practice and joining a group. I know this move is better for him, and I'm thrilled he's been given this opportunity, but OMG I'm wigging out!! Every time this kind of change has happened in the past, either schedules or finances couldn't cope and I had to change therapists. Now, after all the attachment work we've done together, I'm absolutely PETRIFIED that I'm going to lose him yet AGAIN!! The cancer did this too, but this time such a change is bringing up all kinds of past abandonment issues, among other issues that we will need to hash out before he starts the new job in Oct. He did say I was on his short list of clients he had to bring with him, so we're planning on my following him, but going to be talking about all the details that my autistic and traumatized brain is now spazzing over. How will this change his modality? Will he still do body work? Will there be a couch I can lie on? Who will have access to the session notes? Will the new office be an environment I can be comfortable in? Can I keep insurance out of it? What will happen to the current office dojo?? OMG...ACCCK!!!! And now he'll have a boss...I HATE bosses....been having fantasies of being physically restrained by his new boss and having to fight...PTSD much??

This shouldn't be so hard. We'll be having lots of conversations about this, I'm sure. Sigh* I know change is inevitable, and this is a good one for him, but none of us are really happy about the fact he NEEDED to do this. I can tell he's a little disappointed that his practice didn't survive his cancer, but I'm just glad HE did! Still have a lot of work to do with him, hoping I can finish what we started together.

 

[susannahsays]

Poor guy losing his business independence to cancer. That's gotta suck. I don't see how it's better for him - working in a group practice will cut his income by a lot. Still, like you said, at least his health is ok. If he's not old, maybe he'll even want to start saving up so he can go private again.

 

[Sideways]

Some benefits to working with a group, if it’s a good quality group.

They help each other out with continuing professional development requirements. Instead of jamming down online seminars a month before your quota of points are due, they often share referrals to good quality seminars, then share notes with the others at the practice afterwards.

Working with other professionals tends to help people keep up to speed with developments in pharmacology and therapy techniques, because they have people to spin off, and often presenting info to the others over lunch (here’s a new study I’ve read on...) is often a cpd point for everyone.

When your T is away, there’s backup. Without you needing to lift a finger.

When you’re getting stuck in therapy, your T doesn’t need to personally know off the top of his head who the ‘perfect psychologist/dietician/etc” is in town. They can ask their colleagues for ideas.

And if your T practices a particular type of therapy with you, what makes you assume that’s not exactly why this group is interested in taking him on? He may now be their resident specialist in the stuff he does with you.

It’s not all bad. Different, new adjustments, but not all bad.

 

[Eagle3]

Poor guy losing his business independence to cancer. That's gotta suck. I don't see how it's better for him - working in a group practice will cut his income by a lot. Still, like you said, at least his health is ok. If he's not old, maybe he'll even want to start saving up so he can go private again.

He's old, and his whole family is sick with chronic and autoimmune illnesses. Its one of the reasons we connect so well, he GETS me on a level most practitioners don't. I figure he's after cheaper medical insurance and someone else to do the administrative stuff since his cognitive abilities were altered by chemotherapy. I know this guy pretty well, and it'll be a difficult change for him. He doesn't like doing paperwork and never keeps session notes, so I know he's gonna chafe under the paperwork requirements and loss of freedom. Like I said, I get why he wanted to do this, and I'm happy he's making a change that will make his life better, even with a pay cut. Just wigging out over what these changes have brought in the past. Its not like I'll never see him again since we still go to the same Aikido school, but he's the only therapist who has been comfortable with touch-related issues and will sit and hold me for 20 minutes in session any time I need it. I don't want to have to find a new therapist!!!!

I'm using this event to mindfully work through my past issues and see if maybe things will be different this time. Walking through the anxiety of the unknown is difficult though!!

 

[DharmaGirl]

I understand your wigging out. I lost my therapist to a new practice after 5 years, and it was hard! I pretended it was fine to him, so he would be happy about leaving, but it was really hard. I survived though, and after a few really strange therapists I found a good one. She just left for another practice too. It was easier the second time. I hope you do have lots of conversations about this, and you are doing good things for yourself. Good luck!

 

[piratelady]

I don't want to have to find a new therapist!!!!

Maybe try to approach this with an open mind. Ultimately, he’s going to keep working with you and he’s your therapist, not the others in the practice group. So you’ll still have him. Maybe it will all work out for the best