Sufferer Childhood Abuse - Still Haunts.

[Lucycat]

Hi and welcome!

I am in Scotland and have a fantastic therapist and psychiatrist on the NHS. Both have a Special Interest in Trauma and are really inspirational. I did not have to wait even a week to start therapy when I asked for help. They may be hard to find but they are out there!

 

[Mr Man]

I guess this postcode lottery thing is true. Ironcially, what triggers me is Narcisstic behavior, and when I studied my MBA we also studied company culture, and the NHS was the example used of a Narcisstic culture. So nothing triggers my PTSD more than the NHS. The fact that the main complaint in patient surverys in the MHT is the lack of respect kinds of says it all. Do you get triggered by the NHS or civil serivce ?

 

[Anarchy]

@Vampire victum,
I completely despise the NHS (I know most people regard criticizing the NHS as an act worse than kicking a puppy).

I come at it from the aspects of von Mises' "calculation problem", Hayek's "knowledge problem", Hayek's observation expressed in "Road to Serfdom" that in coercive institutions, the worst people always rise to the top, and Rothbard's finding that a monopoly cannot exist on a free market (it requires coercion to keep competition from entering the market and offering the customers a better deal).

Hence both theoretically and empirically, the NHS (and state, and any other institution where payment is extracted by coercion, instead of by customers freely choosing ammongst competing providers for the goods and services which best suit them) are coercive (monopoly) institutions, and are in a constant state of calculational chaos, haven't a clue what they should be doing, and they are headed by the unproductive parasitic narcissistic and psychopathic scum that always jostle their way to the top in such institutions.

Even from the point of the 18th and 19th century classical economists, a monopoly would still (ceteris paribus) provide fewer and lower quality goods at higher price than freely competing providers would.

Unfortunately most of the population are so gas lit (by the psychopaths and narcs that rise to the top in coercive institutions) that they actually believe the NHS is somehow a good thing.

also unfortunately, you do get some good people, even in the worst of institutions - they tend to either realize that they don't fit and get out, get hurt and leave, broken, of get corrupted and go along to get allong. But, until they get out or get corrupted, they can still present a caring human face to an institution of brutal and chaotic centrally planned rationing.

ok, blue touch paper lit, stand back and enjoy the explosive display of Stockholme syndrome;)

 

[sarafina]

Childhood Trauma does not heal on it's own or go away. It can be buried from time to time but this is not a longterm solution. I speak as someone who was abused in childhood (physical, emotional, sexaul, spiritual abuse) to the point of developing fragmented self aka Dissociative Identity Disorder or formerly MPD. I had a MPD psychiatrist years ago but he was so Freudian and not clued into feminist issues. I found a less trained social worker who specialized in childhood trauma more helpful. This was back in the days when I had a husband to pay for some therapy.

I have no idea what is available to you, I am in Canada. You may need to pay for some therapy yourself. I would suggest looking for feeling-oriented therapies with therapist with LOTS of experience with childhood abuse issues. These issues were addressed more in the 80s and 90s until everything became swept under the "False Memory" rug. But not all memories of childhood abuse are false. Sounds like you need more healing from your past. Feeling is healing but needs to be done in a safe way. Until you find someone who you feel safe with AND who is skilled in childhood abuse therapy you will probably stay stuck. Avoid hypnosis as it can lead to falsified memoires or become overwhelming.

Do you dream? I heal a lot of past stuff in my dreams just by paying attention to what my unconscious is clueing me into. Avoid the New Agey types of dream interpretation books - they are pretty much useless. Everyone has their own dream language. It is the repeated dreams that tell you what is going on. Those about recent traumas are obvious - those about childhood stuff maybe be in a a kind of code. Over time you can identify what they may really be about.

I find it sad and very frustrating that so many therapists and psychiatrists/psychologists and others have run away from trying to help clients or patients dealing with early childhood abuse issues for fear of doing more damage or being ostracized or I don't know what else. I have had to do a lot of self-therapy myself as a result and also because I do not have means now to pay for therapy. Not ideal but doing nothing would be even worse.

PTSD usually is worse for someone already traumatized as a child - so the research seems to indicate. I wish you well.