Childish Voice

[perfecttopink]

While I was being sexually abused, I could see him doing it to another child and not me. I would look through what seemed to be a glass and want to help the little girl. As I grew older that little girl became me. I even named her Lacy. Although she was not named after me. She would come out when times were tough or when I was stressed. Her voice would come out in a bit of rage or in cry. I could not control her. She would cry because her step brother was still touching her or her dad did not believe her. I know in reality I am Lacy and Lacy is me but I still talk in a childish voice. I Do not hear it but it is like my brain freezes the Adult me and my inner child talks. Mostly it occurs without me know it and when I am in front of someone I respect a lot. I do not know how to stop it. It is embarrassing. My boyfriend says it is annoying. How do I stop it?

 

[Brontie]

Sounds like Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). A T can help you with this. My initial bit of advice would be to make friends with her. It makes life easier to deal with. But if that’s what you are dealing with, you will need help to sort it out. It can get quite complex and complicated.

 

[perfecttopink]

Thanks, I will talk to a T about it. I have been to several and they have not ever mentioned me having DID. They tell me I have BPD, PTSD, or Bipolar.

 

[liv now]

I can identify with what you are saying. I don't have DID, although my therapist was not sure for awhile. What happens for me is that in certain situations I lose touch with my healthy adult and live through the eyes of my inner child. It used to annoy a lot of people as i spoke with a whiney, almost whingy voice, and was always saying sorry. I had absolutely no self confidence and wanted people to make decisions for me. My therapist said it was part of dissociation as I could not access my usual adult self. I was unaware at first. I with the help of a T, have spent a lot of time talking to my child part and befriending her and am learning to soothe her. I have become much better at soothing and coping with stress, which in turn has helped my child part, as I can now soothe her. I can now identify when I have slipped in to a child role and can access my adult part and tell her what she needs to hear. I reassure her that i can take care of us both. Not sure if this make sense. I do agree with Bronte, making friends with her helps, and seeing a good therapist who can help you identify whether you have DID. Although my T said whether you have DID or not the treatment is similar.