Cold and distant adult children

[Deleted member 38906]

It seems like you do that when your thought patterns are challenged.

Hi @Muttly I think revert to those thoughts when I start feeling like im becoming dangerously intimate and close with someone. It makes me feel out of control and at harms way so I do everything in my power to convince myself why I hate them and why I should push them away. It's terrible, I know. It's a survival thing. I was enmeshed, engulfed and controlled way too much growing up that intimacy has been wired as a dangerous in my mind.

If, you can't live on your own, right at this moment, you can start building the skills and plan so you would be able to move out.

Right now, me and my brother and mom live together...in my family it's frowned upon and considered selfish for children to move out on their own until they are married. Everyone lives together and takes care of the parents and each other until they start their own family.

If I move out, my brother will be burdened with all the bills and I will have the guilt and shame of moving out and abandoning them. If i stay with my brother and ask my mom to move out (because I don't get along with her) that will be even worse. That's why I am in the situation I am right now until I figure something out.

 

[joeylittle]

@Moo - this is going around in circles. You've gotten a lot of good ideas, advice, responses. And, you've gotten some challenges. All of that is normal, around here.

What are you willing to do in order to change or improve your situation? That's the important question.

 

[Deleted member 38906]

@Moo - this is going around in circles. You've gotten a lot of good ideas, advi...

what you call "challenges" I call unjust accusations. Also, please don't hold me responsible for causing this thread to go in a circle. I've merely been responding to people's comments/ questions on my original post as they came in.

 

[joeylittle]

I wasn't holding anyone 'responsible' for a circle. I was just pointing it out.

I'd still like to know what you think about this:

What are you willing to do in order to change or improve your situation? That's the important question.

 

[Deleted member 38906]

I wasn't holding anyone 'responsible' for a circle. I was just pointing it out.

I'd still like to...

What I think is that it's a shame that I don't feel safe enough discussing this further on this forum with the amount of bullying going on. Thanks for your question though..something to think about.

 

[digger]

This thread is now locked. Please address any concerns you have about the forum via help-ticket. Thanks.

 

[joeylittle]

What I think is that it's a shame that I don't feel safe enough discussing this further on this forum with the amount of bullying going on.

Oh, no. There hasn’t been bullying. There have been a few attempts by you to shift blame onto members of this community, when you’ve gotten responses you don’t like. If you decide to come back, please remember - take what's useful, leave the rest.