I wish I could see what you are seeing in that letter. Why can't I see the manipulation like u do? And why is she trying to manipulate me so hard? Ur response made me feel a bit better tho so thanks. The first time I read the letter I didn't feel anything.I thought it was comical that she thought I picked my cousin as a role model. .. It made me feel like she didn't know me at all. But To make sure I wasn't missing anything I read it to a friend. When I looked up at the end she was crying. She said my mom was hurt. That's where I thought maybe I'm autistic or smth and have trouble feeling emotions and relating to ppl. Five hours later the guilt is killing me and I can barely function. On the other hand I know it's not my fault that everything about her triggers me, I'm not making myself feel that way on purpose..... but I understand how hurtful it is for her to have to experience that bc of me. I just feel like I'm the cause of her pain and I wish I could shake that feeling off.