College

[unbrokenn]

I’m applying to colleges this year which is a huge deal to me
I never thought I’d live to be 17 after all the stuff I’ve been through.
I want to be a cardiologist and have been wanting this since I was young.
I was raised by my grandfather who had heart issues. My dad wasn’t around because of work. But my grandpa was. Slowly he went from caring for me to me caring for him. He began forgetting who I was. It hurt so much. It still does. I hate that I was angry at him towards the end. I hate that he probably didn’t know I was because he was that senile.
But I want to make him proud. He always wanted me to be more successful than him. He always told me to study hard and to become a doctor (or lawyer). But I wanted to anyway. He just inspired me. And I intend to make him proud. I want to become someone he would be proud knowing.
I already got into one college and I cried when I did because I wondered how he’d react. I hope he’s proud of me.
I’m in NHS. I’m an APSA mentor and student ambassador. I volunteer at hospice. I’m an AP scholar. I got a 34 on my ACT. All those things, I hope those things make him smile. Maybe he’s somewhere happy for me.

 

[unbrokenn]

I watched him die. Every time I go to hospice I see his face in other people’s eyes and wonder if he’s watching me. It’s been years since then but it still feels fresh. I cry when I think of him because I miss him. But I want to stop crying because I know he wouldn’t want me to cry. He’d want me to smile and be successful. And I want that too.

 

[Friday]

❤ Cardiologists Got Heart! ❤

Well done, you. My grandfather was a cardiothoracic surgeon. When he got too old to cut he spent the next 20 some odd years in private practice as a GP and on various medical boards until his late 80s. It’s a passionate profession full of amazing people.