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Colorful and hopefully optimistic but maybe hateful occasionally

Hun - you don't have to talk about something that makes you uncomfortable --- ever. Not to anyone.
If you choose to talk because it benefits YOU to share, then share away.
If you have something you want to keep to yourself -- that's OK. You don't have to talk.

If it's something that needs to be talked about because it is problematic for YOU it's ok to take your time.
You will talk when you are ready. :hug:
 
This has nothing to do with what was disturbing me earlier, but that seems to have calmed down a little. Didn’t vomit this time, which is a marked improvement! And also I was able to get myself to focus eventually. Nestle helped.

My bird is at home, to keep her safe from the moving activities. She’s going to be so mad when I see her again.

Still having some olfactory flashbacks, I think.

I gave my mom more medical advice. I think she’s taking me seriously but I also think she’s not going to act on it unless I make it easy.

I feel so terrible. She doesn’t feel like my mom. She feels like someone I’m supposed to take care of. I have been since I was a child.

Meanwhile I miss my transgender cat (long story) who mothered me til her/his end.

Also taught me to always stand up when someone wants to fight. Then run away and hide when they least expect it.

I wonder if I would have come out more wild/feral human if I had been raised by a dog.

People from my high school have been asking me to come back and have lunches with them, now that Brandi is out of the picture. One of them sent me 200$ for Nestle. I want to hang out, at least one time, but I’m worried I’ll dislike someone slightly and then be unable to say no to future invitations. But I also am worried about that for dating. That’s why I haven’t texted those ladies back. They probably think I lost interest.

I had a crush on a polyamorous transman, who is currently married to one man, but I decided I probably shouldn’t say anything. I’m kind of enjoying being incredibly independent. And using my own money. Good times
 

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