Colorful and hopefully optimistic but maybe hateful occasionally

[LuckiLee]

Good job checking in with your doc. I hope you feel better a.s.a.p. I want to chime in about your Mom. Disregard if it's not helpful..... Honey, she is a hoarder. Of course she buys crap she doesn't need. That's what hoarders do. Accumulate stuff. It won't change unless SHE changes it. You know your Dad was one. So is your Mother. You know I care about you and I just want you in a healthy environment. You deserve it @littleoc. Feel better soon. XO

 

[littleoc]

<3

<3

 

[Freida]

Very proud of you for calling doctor! Yep..might be the new drug and might be aggravated by being back in this house and seeing it thru adult eyes. I wonder if that might be why it's so hard for you right now. Because you're seeing that this is something she's refusing to address as an adult. Rather than is a child who lives in it and accepts it as somewhat normal

And I'm not sure why you think it's your responsibility to clean the house. I could be missing something :-) but this is her house her problem ....you just happen to be a visitor for the time being

 

[littleoc]

My therapist hasn’t texted nor called back. I’m frustrated because a new therapist at the psychiatrist’s office was available at 11am today, but the only person who could take me would ask a million questions and also complain about it

 

[littleoc]

I might stay offline for a while until I can sleep again. Being unable to sleep is not normal for me

 

[littleoc]

3. Get Angry– If you’re a loved one your first reaction will be to start getting upset. This emotion will get you nowhere and will actually scare the hoarder, who is very sensitive at the time, and cause them to close up and not respond with your request to take care of the situation.

10. Let this hoarding situation stress you out.-Hoarding is usually a result of a traumatic situation in the hoarders life. Better hoarding than the hoarder going to drugs and alcohol. Although there is no positive treatment or solution creating a livable condition and periodic monitoring of the hoarding situation will make life enjoyable for both you and the hoarder.



Source: Clutter & Hoarding Clean Up Do’s and Don’t

I’m not sure at this point how to do these. I feel heartbroken that she wouldn’t accept help until it was too late.

Trying to get financing options.

If she doesn’t agree to clean this up, then the fact is that when she dies, I’m going to have to take care of this. The house won’t even be sellable, unless I’m willing to sell it for around 2,000$. My autistic brother can’t help and never has been able to help. My sister really ruined his ability to help by constantly making fun of him. Which my mom just let happen. My little brother is in New York. My sister is just no.

And yeah, my mom has turned to drugs, several times. So I don’t know how that was supposed to comfort me.

But it’s “fine,” it’s just “muscle relaxers.” It’s fine if they weren’t prescribed to you. They’re relaxing.

 

[littleoc]

Why does my therapist take so long to answer me?

 

[ILoveLife]

Can you stop and breathe for a bit? Get out and get some fresh air?
I'm worried about you being there, doesn't seem to be good for your sleep and rest.

 

[littleoc]

It’s very dysregulating to be unable to have a routine. There’s no kitchen

Will make more microwave oatmeal, served with raisins, add yogurt and berries. Can’t take Nestle on a long walk.

The microwave is from the 80s or earlier. It hasn’t been cleaned in years. OCD acts up and I feel slightly convinced that my food is poisoned. But luckily logic kicks in and I know it isn’t.

I think I’ll take Concerta today? It really helps with the racing thoughts.

 

[littleoc]

If it’s cool today, maybe I’ll go on a mini-hike.

 

[littleoc]

Don’t be too worried, though, I’m still safe. I’ve been watching to-be astronauts on news videos learn how to handle sudden medical emergencies in space. Pretty cool stuff :)

 

[ILoveLife]

Both the hike and the to-be astronauts sound pretty cool!