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Combat pstd bf isolation behavior

Discussion in 'Supporter (Anonymous)' started by Pozi, Nov 23, 2017.

  1. Cucel

    Cucel Guest

    You’ll be fine. Just take some time for yourself for a while. Give him time and space to heal. Set boundaries for if he returns ie, I’m not going to be treated like that again, for us to move ahead you must seek therapy. It’s time for you to start healing.
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  3. Buho

    Buho Guest

    My bf and I are barely speaking, him needing to get himself together after a big, prolonged episode. Me being the supportive girlfriend, you know, I took a large step back and it's been several weeks. Feels like we're not even really a couple anymore. Just yesterday I saw that he had a performance on freakin live television in the meantime. Didn't even tell me about that. And he is fine to go out with friends and colleagues. But can I come over? Nope. Can we talk about what is going on here? Nope. Can we make a plan for the future? Nope. THAT is too stressful, sure, not getting on live TV for the world to see.

    Still tells me he loves me every day. I do get what's going on with him. I just sometimes wonder if he actually thinks this is an acceptable status quo.
  4. Micahu

    Micahu Guest

    Every time he talks to me like I’m nothing just gives me less hope that he’ll come back around. I need a reset. Thank you.
    B.J. likes this.
  5. Ehipu

    Ehipu Guest

    I’m also going through a no contact (unless necessary) period; and it’s only by text. I’m concerned that he won’t return, or if he does, he won’t be the same person I knew. I’m prepared for either because I’ve decided that if he can’t cope with life issues or be willing to learn how to better cope, then there’s nothing more I can do. I’m trying to be a supporter to the best of my ability and I’ve made a few mistakes, but I can’t keep being made to feel guilty and as if I’m a terrible person. He is a wonderful guy who usually was able to cope, but now he seems to be struggling. According to him, there’s nothing wrong with his mental health, but I definitely see some concerns just with the way he’s behaving now. It’s saddening to see the decline in resiliency and luster. He used to be so glad to see me and so happy to know that I would be with him; now he says he can’t see me and doesn’t want to talk to me right now; he needs more time. He says I violated his trust which is a big no no, and I admit to speaking too much on his behalf; I understand this to be a major concern for sufferers. I apologize to him and all sufferers for not knowing what’s allowed and what’s not. Communication is key!
    Cleo1521 likes this.
  6. Nihim

    Nihim Guest

    Hi ya'll -

    I'm the OP - Need some advice.
    So i have a wedding coming up in 3 weeks. The Groom is my friend of many years. All of my friends are going, well a majority. However, my ex (the sufferer) was also invited because he has become friends with my friends as well as the groom.

    I've been trying to stay away from him and not bug him about anything, i have not spoken to him in 4 days.

    BUT, my best friend said i should contact him and ask him if he is going to go to the wedding, if we can be civil for one night etc.

    First, we dont hate eachother, so I dont see it as not being civil. Second, should i even ask that being that its not for another 3 weeks? Or should I wait?
  7. Esize

    Esize Guest

    SO SORRY - wrong thread^
  8. Pozi

    Pozi Guest

    No, it would probably be interpreted as another excuse to be in touch with him, which...it probably is. Don't write, don't call. If he makes a scene at the wedding, walk away. The fact that you're thinking about getting in touch with him about something that 1. isn't likely to happen and 2. is 3 weeks away, shows that you haven't let go. That's ok. But it's over. Don't torture yourself by doing the obvious...finding excuses to be in contact with him.
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