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Combat Stress Mega Translate-o-mat

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To tell the truth, I didn't touch a weapon until my last 6 months in. Missed the whole boot camp thing with the .22. But when I qualified with the 1940's issue .45, I was ace. Scored 42 out of 30 rounds........ Ahh err the guy next to me was aiming at the wrong silhouette. So there you go.

We had to carry those things for in port watch. They would give me 10 rounds.....split between 2 clips. Never figured that one out. Watch was damn boring. We also had a Marine security watch and 50 Marines on board permanently, so I was not sure what they needed me for. And they had cool weapons. Browning 9mm. Full clips and body armour. I had a funny white hat a black scarf and an effective shooting range of 3 meters.

SOP on watch.
1. Take clips out of belt.
2. Take rounds out of clip.
3. Inspect rounds, line them up real neat on the desk.
4. Take apart weapon.
5. Get laughed at by Marine security.
6. Take certain pieces of weapon back from Marine security. (Hey squid, what happens if I throw this piece over the side)
7. Put everything back together again.
8. Repeat at least 3 times during 4 hours.

And yes, A sailor would shoot himself in the foot every year by accident.
 
I didn't realize that this was pick on squids day! Marines always laughed at us. We couldn't march worth a damn and our shooting was worse. I told my unit that if it came down to me defending the hospital we were in serious shit because I couldn't hit the broad side of a barn on a clear day with a map! My job was to take bullets out, not put them in. We had a prisoner escape at Camp Fallujah and they had everyone make their weapon condition three. I slapped my mag in like some action hero in a movie and scared the shit out of our chief surgeon. Okay, G.I. Jane I'm not.
However, the Marines were always around to give a hand. You know, M-A-R-I-N-E, which stands for My Ass Rides in Navy Equipment, or my personal favorite, Muscles Are Required Intellegence Not Essential. And there is always the old favorite, USMC, Uncle Sams Misguided Children.

Don't get me wrong, I love jarheads, when they're not doing stupid things like playing Kbar horseshoes or holding each other out a 4th story window for kicks. By the way, they caught the prisoner two days later. Took'em that long to search the camp. Oh the fun times we had.
 
Now I am only going to say this once and once is all I'm going to say it! You guys keep forgetting that I AM NOT a Squid...You can call me Shallow Water Sailor or Coastie. Thank you very much.

If you can't get it straight, we might have to step behind the bar and get liquored up and then step out into the alley...
 
Now you foreign types might not have had this as you all had your own spiffy uniforms (all except Alan). But a great hilarity of my time in is when all the Navy and Marines would salute me when I was a mere petty officer. You see we have these pretty white Taxi Driver hats...very similar to naval officers. But we are so overlooked as a service that they didn't even know our uniforms.
 
I'd salute petty officers, just in case. Anything that isn't covered in shit, in fact. That's the big decider.
 
In boot camp, sky larking offenders were made to stand in the middle of the parade ground(grinder) and salute then shoot at (with a lead filled M-14) every bird and airplane that flew past. Good fun.

If I keep on getting called "little sister" here I'm going to start demanding panties and boy band cd's for my birthday.

Durned Ground Pounders. Give you a free ride and all you do is complain. lmao

Wagon.
 
Ok in US Army Lingo would be something like this.

it will be ok ................. fido(f*ck it and drive on)
that's messed up/broken ............................snafu, fubar,
We are gonna get in trouble/my life sucks............................. Bohica(bend over, here it comes again)
to guess at something is to make a swag (scientific wild ass guess)
more to come
 
oooh I wish we had stuff like that! We just talked like normal people. Apart from the enemy being called chetniks and our rifle grenades being called trombones I can't remember anything. Another sign that it wasn't a proper army clearly!
 
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