News Complicated Grief Needs Specific Treatment - Losing a Loved One is Not PTSD

[Gamereign555]

Wow never suffered from complicated grief after my dad died but it sounds like a bad place to be in.

I listened to Terance Keane's presentation and I feel a bit left out of the equation not ever experiencing military combat or anything related to that. All I know is all of the sudden one day I had HVS, panic disorder, anxiety and ended up in an ambulance while I was at work, none of it ever went away. Months later I started therapy and little by little I started to manage these conditions then came the nightmares and was suddenly hit with severe depression and again was in the hospital, I would end up in urgent care a couple more times before I started to figure out that I was in control of my panic. Now I am mostly just insomniac due to anxiety and nightmares, the panic disorder, anxiety and hvs still effects me in a big way but it's not debilitating anymore. Still I can spiral out of control if I am not careful.

My diagnosis was probably based on how my symptoms developed, past traumas, stressors, taking into account the sudden onset of panic and hvs,loss of my dad, drug use past and then present, ect. and all that other stuff a trauma therapist takes into account, I would hope that she didn't just couldn't figure it out or gave in too early to a misunderstanding or disagreement of what ptsd is kind of thing. However I choose her because of all of her experience. I hope there is a solid criteria, I really do, but when lumping all this stuff together and trying to take out all of the 'gut' a therapist has I feel that the criteria is going to be so narrow that it will elimate a lot of people who do suffer, should we create another condition to fit their condition now that they dont meet they criteria?

Sure I know these things and I have diagnoses for all of them, even ptsd. Now I don't actually know I have ptsd, my therapist diagnosed me as such after a few months of therapy. I do know however that I have other problems, is it that I have ptsd, or not and just a bunch of other conditions? Or maybe I have ptsd and other conditions? Ill leave that mess to somebody else, honestly, when its all figured out maybe they can let me know what the secret of the universe is while they are at it. Because it sounds like a tangled mess of symptoms that can occur if and when or not.

Still i do agree... that somebody being diagnosed on the basis that breaking up with a partner sounds.. fishy, can somebody actually be so mentally screwed up to develop ptsd from that???
But what do you expect.. out of military cases may be behind the curve or something, in my experience doctors wouldn't diagnose it or even talk about it, the responsibility seemed to fall squarely on the therapists diagnosis. I hope that people who suffer from it aren't eliminated from the criteria but I also don't think that somebody who just has BPD and a chest cold should meet the criteria either.

 

[Britt.f7]

So, what I'm reading, according to number 3 on the DSM list, death of another can cause PTSD if it was an accident or violent death. I know that I do not have PTSD from the recent unexpected death of my mother and my "aunt", that that is complicated grief. But I do have PTSD related to the tragic death of three friends and the events surrounding it. I was a young child at the time. Their death, apparently, has effected me through out my life. They believe it is also behind my desire to die. It gets triggered even more when someone dies. I definitely do not act well to death.

 

[Tinyflame]

I don't know how to seperate them either Britt.

There may be something very correct about what your T said. (((((((Hugs))))).

 

[Tinyflame]

Actually, I think that if I could unravel it or reconcile it it might explain and help (if not even remove) much of my stuff. Or maybe not, it just seems too complicated to overcome or figure out or fix (for myself). :( :sorry::tdown:

 

[Britt.f7]

((((HUGS)))) back at you Junebug. Thank you.

And, yes, it seems overwhelming to me at times too.

 

[Tinyflame]

Yes, like trying to put together a million-piece puzzle dumped on the floor. :( With no picture to even follow.

 

[Tanishq]

The most characteristic symptoms of complicated grief are intrusive thoughts of the deceased person and a painful yearning for his or her presence. When grief is most severe, a person may deny the death or consider suicide.

Sometimes people grieve for long periods, if they don't understand the situation or something behind it.

Very difficult thing to handle. I never thought I was being traumatic, I am sure I have grieved in past. It was like yearning for that person's presence back in life.

 

[Tinyflame]

I really don't know how it relates, because I can read the quote above and say to myself, (for myself) "No, that's not it." But what is it? :unsure: :(

It just seems like too many losses, carved away too much, perhaps? Sometimes I wonder if it's just cumulative, maybe unavoidable?

I'm wondering, maybe something grief-related would help? I've never actively sought that. But when p-no in another thread suggested to 'float a boat', I ended up (also) with feelings (and memories) unrelated to the person I put it in the water for. And that sadness was part of what was occurring in life then (as a child), and had nothing to do with death.

Also, I don't know where it inter-relates, but the things (feelings, reactions, etc) that they talk about when they talk about 'trauma', I totally relate to.

 

[Tinyflame]

Mind you, I guess all trauma comes with its share of grief. On top of expected, 'normal' grief.

 

[Britt.f7]

I do not think of any of the deaths that I experienced were traumatic, with the exception of my friends. Yes, I've experienced deep grief for certain people that may have hung on longer then it should have. I even think, when they died, that it should have been me. And, yes, I miss them terribly.

The deaths of my friends was a horrible accident. They had wanted me to go. Even as a 7 year old, I knew what I missed and what I wished I had prevented. There were also a bunch of things surrounding their death that contributed to the trauma. My T wants me to write about it at an emotional level, because I don't talk about it that way. Everything is a matter of fact. It's going to be difficult, but I know on a rational level it has effected my life and choices for almost 40 years. It's beyond grief or loss, because I no longer miss them. It's odd, when I looked at my children when they were the age I was when the tragedy struck, I couldn't imagine them having gone through any of that or placing the responsibilities on them that they placed on me then. Yet, the guilt remains.

 

[KatB]

This just brings more confusion and complications for others who might still be going through it and not grasp the gist of it:shifty:

I've seen a lot of deaths these couple of years, one this year being the death of my cousin; death:suicide. It wasnt as traumatic for as the death of my cousin in 2009- THAT, my friend, won the title of "complicated grief":sour: No more complicated than that. No death tops that for me. NONE! Ever......!!!!

Science always talks and shows proof of things. Sometimes, it doesnt work for everybody.

I thought that one of the characteristics for ptsd was that the death itself left the person completely helpless...hmmm.

:grumpy::(

 

[NarcSis]

I suffered complicated grief after the death of my mother, as I started the resuscitation effort and the hospital staff looked to me for direction. I was highly anxious, suffering insomnia, severely angry and suicidal for about 6 months before things started to settle - only to come back as I took on more stress at work. I sought help at that point and after 3 months of twice weekly therapy I felt it resolve.
Four years later, I encountered my trauma at work. I don't know how to explain it other than to say it FELT different. It's been over four years since that day and the 'experts' are baffled as to why I'm still meeting the criteria for PTSD! Maybe because I have PTSD?

I've come a long way in learning how to cope with this and I now know what needs to be done in order to keep managing my own life instead of PTSD dictating it. I may never be free, because I will need constant management but I'm accepting it and that's half the battle.

I've suffered a lot of loss in my life, tragic and not, both before and since my trauma, none of those felt the same to me as the PTSD, sure, after PTSD the losses were felt deeper more visibly emotionally for me but they were obviously grief reactions to me.

I agree with Anthony and the experts here, not everyone diagnosed necessarily has PTSD.