I am curious about the feelings you have because I couldn't describe mine as the same. This is just my curiosity so you don't have to answer if you don't want to.Therapy is hard as Hell!
What is the part that is so extremely horrible if I'm not being too personal. Is the topic too painful to think about? Does the therapist use tappers or how does he/she do bilateral stimulation to switch between R and L brain?
I've usually heard very strong reactions like yours. I do remember at the beginning I used to sigh when she came to get me and didn't look forward to it but that changed after a while.