Confronted abusive family sad!

[Raj]

I recently confronted, part of abusive family. Now I'm vile and have lost my Christian faith, according to them. Abuser confronted were Parents and a half sister. Years ago forced to confront my cousin, without councerling, who sexually and physically assaulted me.

Fighting thoughts of how to rid myself of this lifetime.

 

[Deleted member 541]

Most people live in a world of denial. They don't/can't hear about this kind of stuff. As maddening as it is for you that they don't understand or blame you..... YOU know the truth. Find a way to live with what you know and find a way to try and heal your trauma.

They are the shits, so walk away and hold your head up high....

 

[anthony]

@Raj, she cat really hit it on the head here:

Find a way to live with what you know and find a way to try and heal your trauma.

Right now, you're turning a positive into a negative. You stood up to family members who abused you and told them so. They obviously want to live in denial and try and protect themselves from their own deeds. Their problem, not yours. You stood up against hour abusers.

Walk away with your head high. There is a difference between feeling down due to the repercussions of PTSD based on facing trauma to feeling down due to believing words that come from your abusers mouths.

You had likely built yourself up to this -- and you did it. There are always temporary repercussions from facing trauma, its just part of it. That is most likely what you're feeling. Don't confuse it for anything they said to you or dismissed. Abusers are abusers, period.

Own what you own, but don't own any of their crap.

 

[Deanna]

Now I'm vile and have lost my Christian faith, according to them.

That's weird. It's almost like they expected you to give their sins to God, so they didn't have to deal with it.

Anyway, don't feel ashamed because you were shamed. It's not your cross to carry and never was.

 

[Raj]

Thank You for your comments. Its comforting to know they need to deal with their issues.

Raj

 

[Muttly]

You were brave to confront them. You did something important and hard and that's a big deal. Sadly you can't control their response . Abusers and their families often shift the blame onto the victims. That's safe and easy for them. Otherwise they have to face the knowledge of their actions or lack of actions.

When I confronted my abusers I was told I was lying, selfish and slandering the family name. I know it hurts. it can be freeing too, after the hurt passes.

 

[Raj]

I'm a total slanderer, if you as the sister that threw me across room.

Raj

 

[Slkobe]

I recently confronted, part of abusive family. Now I'm vile and have lost my Christian faith, according to...

Hi Raj! I normally would not post religious stuff in this forum but since you mentioned being a Christian in your original post I would assume it's appropriate. If not, I truly apologize. My goal is to encourage you and not convince or convert you in anyway. I just want to let you know that confronting your family is a very Christ-like thing to do. God does not condone abuse and neither does he expect us to be a doormat. The Bible commands us to love God more than we love our families. In fact there is even a verse that states that if we love our family more than JESUS that we are not worthy of Him. Some people may interpret this verse negatively but for me it has provided tremendous relief when it comes to confronting and dealing with abusive family members. My dad considers himself a Christian however he also raped and sexually abused me and if he had things his way me and him would be in constant communication. Sometimes the healthiest and most appropriate response when dealing with abusive family members is to walk away and love them from a distance. I haven't seen or spoke to my father in five years. I continue to pray for his salvation and I truly have no anger toward him anymore thanks to God and the healing that He has done in me. The only fear that I have is that I will have to see him again one day but I trust God to do what's right for me and for him. Just remember that you can't change them or their actions toward you but you can change how you feel toward them by praying fervently and sincerely for them. I know it's hard at first but totally worth it in the long run. Hate and bitterness are heavy loads that we were not made to carry. Anyways that's my two cents and I'm truly sorry your family is not supportive of you but don't forget that you are still loved by the One who made you and whose image you bear. Thanks for reading and God bless

 

[Raj]

Slkobe, Thai you. I agree distance is best! GOD BLESS YOU!

Raj