Confused About Diagnoses, Wanting To Just Fix The Problem

[Die Hard The Hunter]

I am on this forum not because I have PTSD, but because when I read information on it, I had some insights about myself. I realized I was making assumptions about myself based on incomplete information.

I have never really been counseled. I had a school counselor two years ago, but I didn't really know what to say to him. I told him about my religious upbringing and how I had never really felt safe or at peace, even after leaving that religion. It was like I had everything figured out in my head but I was still letting those old fears control my actions. He said I was the first person like that, and he didn't have a lot of advice. I took Lexapro for about two months and then dropped out of counseling.

Later I was diagnosed with ADHD and anxiety disorder NOS. I was put on Adderall and Zoloft. The Zoloft helped me loosen up enough to actually make some casual friends, but the Adderall didn't help me with school so I stopped taking it for a while. When I got back on it, I realized I had more self-confidence, and so I was actually able to admit that I still hadn't really dealt with anything. I was able to write out the problem, and it still was stressful sometimes, but I had some new insights and then found this forum.

I don't want to be repititious here, as I've already posted about my situation. I appreciate the emotional support people are willing to give here, but right now I'm needing any concrete advice I can get. I am still a college student, but I can hardly even open a book these days without being overwhelmed with feelings like, I'm in some kind of danger, emotionally, physically, or metaphysically. Or there's some kind of greater problem I have to deal with before I can even think about things like school. In my head I know there is nothing dangerous and that I was simply lied to, but any time I get too involved in something I lose sight of those realizations and go back to that state of fear.

I want to know what path I should take. I don't have a lot of money to work with but I am considering either getting back on meds, going to counseling, or both. I'm tired of labels and counseling is really expensive, but I'm also tired of wasting time pretending I'm not still affected by this. I don't even know what my situation would be called.

I'm also curious if anyone knows of other people who have had similar experiences with religion, because I'm having a hard time understanding why I overreacted to something that most people don't even seem to take seriously.

 

[Lionheart]

Not everyone reacts the same to trauma and I think that for you, betrayal by a religious person (or people), was traumatic for you and has left you with difficulty trusting. Whether or not you have PTSD is something you should be screened for by a professional,
(if you really want to know if this is your problem). Labels are necessary for the professional(s) treating you and regardless of what it is called, it is upsetting enough for you to post in a PTSD forum and that tells me that, this is a real problem for you that you should not ignore. However, if you want a professional opinion, then I suggest copying your post and telling a professional exactly what you have told us here. A school counselor most likely does not have the same skill level as a professional therapist (L.S.C.W.) / (PhD.) etc. which you need for proper diagnoses and treatment. Try your local university and/or state and local community assistance programs for affordable counseling. After a professional diagnosis you can then speak with the counselor/therapist about whether or not medication is a viable option for you. Sorry that there are no quick easy answers to your question. Good Luck.

Lewie

 

[Die Hard The Hunter]

Thanks. I don't really know what 'affordable' is. How often do most people make appointments? Once or twice a month? I don't really think PTSD is what I have, I think I just need to be deprogrammed. When I took Adderall and Zoloft, that was the first time in my life I felt genuinely safe, and that was just a few months ago. Until that point I hadn't really known anything else, so maybe I just need time.

 

[Lionheart]

By affordable I mean, 'based on your income'. To get help or not is totally up to you. It doesn't have to be PTSD to be a problem or require assistance with the de-programming, but that is your call to make. Good luck with it. :smile: